It's your time you're wasting, not mine

Random moments from the last few weeks

2007-05-05T11:05:00.000+01:00

Well, hello. Sorry I've been away. I've been sorting out IT coursework with a completely dead network; buying a new house; and trying to get access to Blogger, which decided to forget that I existed for a while.

We were in Manchester a few weeks ago; the police cars there bear the legend Greater Manchester Police: 'Fighting crime, protecting people.' My beloved was quite taken with this, and suggested we too should have a car with a slogan on it. 'Teachers. Drinking tea, shouting at children' was his suggestion.

I am astounded at the mess up with ballot papers in the Scottish Election. Every teacher knows that you cannot use more than one piece of paper in one sitting unless you photocopy them on different coloured paper. A yellow ballot paper and a pink ballot paper would have sorted it.

Overheard in my department:
"Sir, I know I didn't write enough. Couldn't you just imagine it in more detail?"
"Of course. And you can imagine getting a higher grade."

Perspective

2007-04-17T02:19:00.000+01:00

Up late, marking coursework and tinkering with the blog...

...angry at the students who couldn't even be bothered to put the pages of their project in the right order.

..grumpy at spelling mistakes, laziness, students who haven't even used a ruler and a pencil to do their sketches...

...wondering if my recent posts will enchant or bore new readers who come via the Guardian today....

...chatting with M via e-mail...

And he tells me about the shooting at Virginia Tech.

It's remarkable, the way that I now take the 24 hour a day global news stream for granted.

And it's sobering how easily we in Britain identify with American students; feeling much closer to events than the stories that reach us from other parts of the world. We have spent hours and hours soaking up the iconic American College of pop video, date movie and cult TV show... a mythical place to which our teenagers aspire, with its proms and gangs, cheerleading and cliques.

But suddenly it seems alien, a different planet, full of horrors we cannot understand. I may have to tackle ill discipline and mild aggression, but I hope I will never have to live through something like this.

"Schools should be places of safety and sanctuary and learning. When that sanctuary is violated, the impact is felt in every American classroom and every American community." - George Bush

And in a tiny way, even here.
Our thoughts are with you.

Lifehacks for teachers

2007-04-16T22:43:00.000+01:00

We teachers are rubbish at sharing ideas. We largely exist in splendid isolation in our classrooms, only mixing with our peers for 'observed lessons' which are fraught, tense occasions as they are usually associated with appraisal or OFSTED. When we do have 'sharing of good practice' INSETs, everyone either wheels out really big ideas that intimidate the hell out of everyone else, or coyly refuse to take part.

It's virtually impossible to share the tiny little tips, ideas and personal lessons we've learned over the years, ideas which help us stay the right side of the line between thriving and surviving.

On the Net, however, there is a home for everything. I have recently discovered the phenomenon of life hack blogs, which seem to be places where IT professionals hold long and detailed discussions on the methods they use to avoid wasting time.

The mother ship seems to be here but my favourite so far is 43 folders. Broadly speaking, the focus on these sites seems to be professionals working on computer-based projects who have a reasonable amount of control over their time.

In contrast, teachers have ruthlessly regimented days, but their weeks follow a highly personal ebb and flow shaped by a timetable which reboots every September. They have 'pots' of free time which can be removed at almost no notice by either a cover lesson or a serious incident which demands immediate attention. But most perversely of all, despite their profoundly structured life, they are completely at the whim of the students, who can constantly and without any warning demand attention; and unlike adult co-workers, you usually can't ask them to make an appointment to see you at a time more suitable for you.

So I am inaugurating a search for teaching life hacks. Any subject - teaching, classroom management, time management, stress management...

To start, here are some things I've picked up from reading the notes on my colleagues' desks.

1) Make small paper slips with the names of everyone in a class. Stick a paper pocket onto the bottom of your register to store them. When asking questions of a class, use the slips to select who will answer each question so the class can see you are making sure everyone gets a turn to answer.

2) When you do the register, ask each student a simple question (e.g. a spelling) after their name.

3) When you say to a class 'You have three minutes to do this brainstorm' use an egg timer. (In fact you can buy egg timers for this purpose but I don't know where from.)

4) If you are using a projected version of a handout you made in MS Word, put the answers in, colour them white and then when you go through them, highlight them with the mouse to reveal them (and then change them back to black.)

5) Instead of writing a 'L' or similar in your mark book when a student is late, write down the number of minutes they are late. It's much more helpful when confronting a student with the problem.

6) Every year most teachers get given a new mark book. And most schools have electronic data stored somewhere, with lists of all students. Yet most teachers spend time copying name lists into their mark books at the beginning of the year! If you are IT literate and want to be benevolent, it's worth investing half an hour or so, copying and pasting the list of names into a spreadsheet. Then experiment with the Row Height setting until you can match the list of names with the lines in the mark book. Then print it out and stick it in. If you can knock up a brief handout explaining the crucial settings, and disseminate it among your colleagues, I promise you'll be appreciated far and wide; people who never normally talk to you will come up to you on the corridor and thank you. Our mark books are 17 on MS Excel; worth a try as a starting point.

7) And finally, I always teach better when I listen to Broadway musicals on the way to work, rather than Radio 4.

Any more for any more?

Blatant plug

2007-04-10T20:05:00.000+01:00

I am not a folk music fan, neither is my other half. But after he heard 'Roots' by Show of Hands on Radio 4, he went out and bought their latest album, and we have both become a teeny bit obsessed with the song. Whatever your views on folk singing, I urge you to hop on over here and listen to it (well, the first 1 minute and 30 seconds of it.)

Then peruse the lyrics, which I have to reproduce in full as they are just excellent

Now it's been 25 years or more,
I've roamed this land from shore to shore.
From Tyne to Tame, or Severn to Thames,
From Moor to Vale, from Peak to Fen.
Played in cafes, and pubs and bars,
I've stood in the street with my own guitar.
But I'd be richer than all the rest,
If I had a pound for each request,
For "Duelling Banjos", "American Pie" -- it's enough to make you cry.
"Rule Britannia", or "Swing Lo",
Are they the only songs we English know?

Seed, bud, flower, fruit,
They're never gonna grow without their roots.
Branch, stem, shoots.
They need roots.

After the speeches when the cake's been cut, the disco's over and the bar is shut.
At Christening, Birthday, Wedding or Wake,
What can we sing until the morning breaks?
When the Indian-Asians, Afro-Kelts -- it's in their blood below the belt.
They're playing and dancing all night long,
So what've they got right that we've got wrong?

And the minister said his vision of hell is 3 folk singers in a pub near Wells.
Well I've got a vision of urban sprawl.
It's pubs where no one ever sings at all.
And everyone stares at a great big screen,
Overpaid soccer stars, prancing teens,
Australian soap, American rap, Estuary English, baseball caps.
And we learn to be ashamed before we walk,
Of the way we look and the way we talk.
Without our stories, or our songs,
How will we know where we come from?
I've lost St George in the Union Jack,
It's my flag too and I want it back!

And then pop to iTunes (or whoever is your chosen purveyor of digital music) and buy it.

Occasionally

2007-03-31T10:51:00.000+01:00

I saw a young man reading one of the Tim Berners-Lee quotes on my 'quotes about IT' display, and disagreeing with it out loud, to his friend, who argued back.

A girl who started the year full of angry incomprehension at A-level work came to my class, in her breaktime, and handed in a complete coursework project, a day early.

I saw a kid open a door for a teacher overburdened with a box of marking.

Two young women, who had been withdrawn by their parents from an event I organised that was designed to promote religious tolerance, told me that when they had kids of their own, they would make sure that they went to events like that.

You feel you're getting somewhere.
Occasionally.

How to make the shortlist

2007-03-25T22:44:00.000+01:00

OK, I have pontificated on previous occasions about how to deliver a good sample lesson when attending an interview. But you can spare yourself the ordeal of that sample lesson by failing to get invited for an interview.

Firstly, remember it doesn't really matter if you don't fill in the application form. We understand how busy you are: just send us a printout of your 10 page CV (listing every INSET you have ever attended) and we will cross reference it ourselves. It's not like we're busy.

Spelling, grammar and capitalisation errors are great. They show how happy-go-lucky you are and what a casual, easy-going approach you take to the written word and the process of checking over your work. They are really good indicators of how you will approach marking, planning and writing resources!

Illegibility and poor handwriting don't matter. Crossings out are not a problem. This is the era of the computer; you don't need to be able to write clearly to be a teacher.

If you are applying for an IT job (or if you mention your effective use of IT anywhere on your application) it's rather witty to back up your claims of being a well skilled in word-processing with an absolutely hopeless desk-top publishing job. Random font changes, embarrassing spell-checking errors, inconsistent indentation, inappropriate fonts... I know you're just showing me how aware you are of the commonest flaws in our students' work. And we love MS Word CV templates. They're so....unique.

Seriously, folks, it's not rocket science. If you can't be bothered to take care over an application form which I am duty bound to read from beginning to end, do you really think we will trust you with a teaching post? With, you know, real kids writing real essays and all that?

Some of the things I say to my students are true

2007-03-22T20:35:00.000Z

Whenever I teach the Data Protection Act, I expend much energy communicating that knowing about the DPA could be one day prove very beneficial to them (unlike a lot of things they learn). The DPA is widely misunderstood; and it is hugely useful, for example if you should find yourself in the position of being unexpectedly turned down for credit.

Now to this we can also add the fact that the DPA could one day help you out if you become a Doctor and your application for a job is turned down after electronic processing by the infamous MTAS system. This is the story of Dr Palak Trivedi, who used the powers of the DPA to enquire as to why... and got an interview.

Further MTAS horror stories can be found elsewhere on the good Dr Crippen's blog.

Blue

2007-03-21T18:00:00.000Z

I'm sorry my posting is so moribund. I am quite low at the moment.

It's not my management - unusually for the blogosphere, I like my managers and I may not always agree with them but they do a good job.

It's the kids.

It feels like I am breaking a terrible taboo to say it, but the kids are getting me down.

Not the lad who - last Monday - was more threatening to me than any kid I've ever taught. Funnily enough, that encounter left me shaky but sound; I discovered that after 10+ years, my instincts served me well and I think I dealt with it effectively. By the end of our encounter he had apologised completely and sincerely, and I admired him for not running off and leaving us both in an intractable position.

No, it's the default teenage attitude to everything. It's the 'nice' kids. The way that it's my job to help them catch up when they've been off; the way that they will ask for help before they read the instructions, not after, because it's just easier. The fact that the things I used to do as an extra favour, such as lunchtime revision help, are now demanded as a right and complained about if missing. The complete lack of appreciation and gratitude. The absence of any awe, wonder, curiosity and imagination. The yawning, tedious laziness and banality of their approach; the relentless effort needed on my part to summon energy from them. The absolute and complete lack of intellectual curiosity. The profound selfishness of their approach to life. The fact that my energy and enthusiasm is being sucked out of me into the endless black hole of modern youth.

I know that I don't always feel like this. I know that I have been moved and thrilled by teaching young people. I can give you explanations political, historical, sociological and metaphysical as to why teenagers are the way they are.

But at the moment I'm just a bit fed up.

A tale of two applicants

2007-03-18T22:30:00.000Z

University applicant A was 12 when her parents first took her to Oxford; as they wandered round the streets, they half-jokingly asked her 'Would you like to study here?'

At 15, she spent a day in Durham, visiting her Mum's godson, who showed her around a few colleges and told her all about student life.

At 18, University applicant A had applied to Cambridge, Durham and a variety of others. Her Mum and Dad had read through her draft UCAS application and made helpful suggestions. She knuckled down to swot for her A-levels, but everyone few weeks she paniced at the thought of what she would do if she didn't get in to Uni. Even worse, she worried what she would do if she did.... But her parents reassured her that she would be fine, and after all, she knew loads of people who had studied at Oxford, Cambridge, Edinburgh, Southampton... Why couldn't she?

University applicant B was 17 when a teacher remarked to his tutor that 'he's the most gifted historian I've ever taught, is he applying to Oxbridge?' His tutor, and the history teacher, and the school G&T co-ordinator then began the slow process of encouraging him to apply to Oxford or Cambridge. No-one had ever suggested it to him before.

At 17 and a quarter, he went to Oxford on an Open Day. Everyone he met appeared to him to be upper class, completely intimidating and to have nothing in common with him. He decided not to apply there and then; it was only after a long process of persuasion by his teachers that he changed his mind (and then only because he thought he probably wouldn't get in.)

At 17 and a half, applicant B finally explained to his tutor that the reason he hadn't filled in his University application was that he couldn't understand the Oxford web site. Somewhat annoyed, his tutor spluttered that as a straight A student, he should be able to figure it out. Sheepishly he asked "What's the difference between an undergraduate and a post graduate?" Equally sheepishly, she explained it to him.

At 18, B had applied to Oxford, and been given an offer, but he really thought he wouldn't fit in, and was seriously considering turning it down. Especially as his Mum, who was already worried about the cost of sending him to Oxford, was reassuring him that it would be OK if he stayed at home to go to Uni. If he wasn't going to be happy there, what was the point? After all, there was a university in the town where he lived.

It's not enough to say (especially from our comfortable perspective as successful graduates) that the cleverest students, irrespective of their background, will overcome their own self-doubt and inner demons, and gain places at our best Universities. It's hard enough with a fair wind, parental enthusiasm, and a cohort of peers behind you. Those students from what we euphemistically call 'non-traditional' backgrounds have far bigger obstacles to overcome and I welcome anything that helps them.
Whether this will help I don't know, but it's an idea.

Inevitable

2007-03-11T12:29:00.000Z

Take a massively expanded University system; add many new institutions offering similar courses with lower offers. Blend in rising A-level results and the constant pressure to perform. Season liberally with the Internet. Carefully pick out as many seeds of imagination and creativity as you can from young people, using a constant diet of TV, computer games and a restrictive curriculum. Rinse repeatedly from Yr 1 to remove all trace of personal responsibility.

Now get your Lower Sixth cohort to apply to University online.

Bake gently in the ovens of competition and wait for six months. And voila! Students are copying UCAS personal statements off the Internet.

Skills for Life?

2007-03-07T19:43:00.000Z

Overheard on the corridor today:
"OK, go in, get into pairs and practice oral. I'll be back in a minute"

Wish I taught French.

Targets are bad for your health

2007-02-28T22:48:00.000Z

OK, as my regular vistors will know, I spend a lot of time grinding my teeth over the misuse of statistics, targets and league tables. Last week I read this brief posting from geepeemama, that could have been devised as a demonstration of the fallout from stupid targets, and how they can produce precisely the wrong effect (in this case in the NHS.) Read it.

I don't think stupid is to strong a word.

Still here

2007-02-28T22:26:00.000Z

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. It's been one thing and then another. Staff absence, which always slows me down. Plus half term, and - drum roll - a trip overseas with 30 sixth-formers. I've never done it before. I have never been so tired in my life.

To fellow teachers who know exactly what a trip like that entails, I would describe the week as fantastic, a real pleasure, hard work but worth it. The students' delight in the places we visited multiplied my own ten-fold, and they made us proud with their good humour, their insight and their good manners.

However, to those who accuse me of having (almost) free week in the USA when I should be working, I would describe it as a 24 hour a day ordeal of health and safety worries, relentless chivvying and mammoth organisation. A nightmare. I still haven't recovered.

So take your pick...

Anyway, now I have broken my silence, albeit to say not very much at all, I will try and get back to more regular posting.

One more thing - bravo to Brighton for allocating places at oversubscribed schools by lottery. A brave and fair move.

Everyone should read this...

2007-02-01T18:36:00.000Z

This account by a teacher in an inner London school is serious, important and ultimately moving. Those who read some of the angrier teacher blogs will not be surprised by any of it. A school like this needs support and the teachers in it need encouragement and respect. Condemning a school with problems like these, without offering solutions, simply leads to a culture where schools hide their weaknesses and pretend everything is alright.

We need serious, well funded alternatives to short and long term exclusion: heavy duty pupil referral units where student behaviour can be confronted. If they worked, the cost would surely be less than future prison sentences for many of these young people. When the only sanction we have left for violent pupils is to ask them to go home and watch TV for a few days, we have effectively given up on both the possibility of change for those students, and the establishment of a safe environment in our schools.

(Government figures reported here)

Birthday fives

2007-01-26T18:07:00.000Z

Top five things that make me want to quit teaching

1) Lying awake at night worrying about pass rates, retention rates, targets and so on
2) The fear that I may be complicit in the creation of a generation of over-dependent, manipulative kids who are so used to people bailing them out of the consequences of their actions that the country will grind to a halt once they are running it
3) Articles in the press that take the form of an external expert (e.g. a Shakespearean Act-tor or a famous TV naturalist) talking about how wonderful it is to go into the classroom and 'show the kids what the subject is really about, rather than the boring stuff the teachers do with them'
4) Parents who collude with or approve of absence or bad behaviour
5) Marking coursework

Top five reasons I love teaching

1) Moments when students learn something and they enjoy it so much they forget it's uncool
2) Telling parents how well their child is doing and watching them both swell with pride
3) The wit, wisdom and compassion of teenagers, especially when it comes from unexpected quarters at unexpected times
4) The chance to be enthusiastic to a captive audience on a daily basis and get paid for it
5) The glow of smugness you get at University reunions, when you realise that although everyone else in the room earns three times your salary, they know they could never do your job and their career, in comparison to yours, is meaningless and trite

Five things I wish I'd never said to a student

1) You just can't be arsed, can you
2) Where's your bloody coursework?
3) If you don't turn that music down you'll end up a sad, lonely old man
4) Your brother would never have done that
5) I promise I'll mark that tonight and give it you back tomorrow

This was meant to go out yesterday on my blogiversary but I had a migraine and the computer crashed in sympathy.

Bad spelling

2007-01-19T19:36:00.000Z

Yet another comment pointing out my spelling mistakes. It's really mortifying. But it is nice to know that all you folks are out there reading my blog and marking it for SPAG.

My partner (author of the wholly imaginary blog 'She's at it again: thoughts of a blog widower') got very excited about this and suggested I construct a post comparing my blog to British education policy and its critics. But I've had a glass of wine and I'm too scared to type any more in case I do something dreadfully ungrammatical.

Student Nearly Expelled because of Apple!

2007-01-18T19:06:00.000Z

Spot the incorrect headline...

(a) Day's detention for eating apple!

(b) Boy's detention after apple snack!

(c) Pupil gets detention for eating apple!

Well done, all you who said (a.) Tom Bosley of The Kings of Wessex in Cheddar got the day's detention not for eating an apple in the wrong place, but for refusing to do his detention after school. School discipline works like this: you have rules, you have consequences for breaking them. If you break them you get disciplined. If you argue back, refuse to do a detention or otherwise fail to step up and take the consequences of your actions, you will then be liable for the original incidence of rule breaking plus the new infringement. Thus students can end up excluded permanently in a chain of events that starts with something as simple as the refusal to take of a cap.

It's the alleged attitude of the parents that I find frustrating. What did Tom's parents think would happen? Their son broke a rule, which presumably he knew about. (You can read the school rules here) The student then decided to skip a detention (although according to the Sun, he did not check the notice board and was unaware of it.) Did his parents think that because Tom was a 'straight A' student, teachers should turn a blind eye to his rule breaking? I am wary of making too many assumptions about the people involved (I've made mistakes that way in the past) but surely one of the things that makes this school distinctive is its disciplinary code? Or maybe everyone concerned suffers from that common delusion of thinking rules only apply to other people?

Personally, I think some of the rules mentioned in the news reports do sound a bit draconian (if the reports can be believed, which is a big if.) However, yet again, it's pretty much a case of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' when it comes to school discipline.

PS I bet M only read this post because he thought it was me slagging off Steve Jobs again and he was getting ready to fight back...

Sir Digby Jones on today's Today

2007-01-17T19:51:00.000Z

Absolutely searing.

Listen here.

Secret third objective

2007-01-16T18:09:00.000Z

Officially, an 'outstanding' lesson starts with the teacher sharing his or her objectives with the students. Most of the time I tend to do this in a completely informal way, simply reminding them what we did last time and stating where we're going. Quickly. However, when The Inspectors are calling, I write three objectives on the board.

Thus, during our last inspection I found myself writing on the board the bizarre phrase:
'Secret third objective.'

I really can't remember what objectives one and two were. But the point of the last part of the lesson was for students to realise the necessity for something (it was an IT lesson.) I wanted them to understand that this thing was necessary because they had discovered the need for it themselves. The lesson was an adventure, a discovery, a confrontation. At the climactic moment, one of them would, I hope, say 'But this isn't working.' I would then have said 'OK, let's try and work out what will!' I hoped that a lesson learned this way would be a profound learning experience. If I had put the objectives on the board, there would have been no opportunity for them to make that leap for themselves.

How often we lose our collective nerve in our forced attempts to quantify everything: a good lesson must be X, must be Y, must contain Z. This is just a tiny example but it should make us question the recipes and formulae that we are often forced to use as we try to create good quality learning experiences.

The reason I mention this today is that I have just read this article on the very same matter. Go Philip Beadle!

PS The Inspectors didn't come in to that lesson. Wish I could say I was disappointed.

On raising the school leaving age

2007-01-15T23:07:00.000Z

"Real change in education comes infinitely slowly, through calm and resolve and planning.

It begins (and ends) with good teachers and great heads. It depends on a steady recruitment of excellence into the profession, not surges of the second-rate followed by squeezes. It builds up a thirst for the benefits that education can bring, rather than ordering more booze in the last-chance saloon. It goes with the flow of ambition. It doesn't force, threaten or tangle in more webs of bumbling."

Peter Preston in the Guardian

Head teachers not that important... which is just as well?

2007-01-15T20:10:00.000Z

Hum. I am a little perplexed by these two reports from the BBC. This one is about the shortage of Head teachers and this one is about that fact that we no longer need Head teachers. You will note immediately that they both have the same picture which seems to indicate that you can always recognise your Head, not by his grey suit, but by the fact that (s)he carries a sandwich at all times.

Now the situation seems quite confusing:

Are we short of Head teachers? Well, the NASUWT (who represent the teachers) say that when they last looked
"...up to half a million pupils in England's schools were without permanent head teachers..."

but as the DES (who are ultimately responsible for most of the schools) points out, this means that
"Less than 1% of schools at any one time will have a head vacancy and even then there will always be an acting or temporary head in place."

and while the GTC (who represent the teachers but in Not Quite The Same Way) predicts that
"... four out of 10 vacancies will be unfilled by 2011..."

the NCSL (who train the Heads) say it's OK because
"We are entering a new era in school leadership, which is challenging the long-held assumption that every school needs its own head teacher. In future school leadership may not be about just leading individual institutions, but about working in the wider system, although often still having one school as a base."

but the NAHT (who represent the Heads), say that the NCSL's report is
"extremely unhelpful".

So, a tentative conclusion: we do actually need more Heads.

League table commentary

2007-01-13T19:48:00.000Z

This is Mike Baker, the BBC's education correspondent, and it's excellent.

The news goes from mad to worse

2007-01-12T20:39:00.000Z

I'm so tired I'm having aural hallucinations. I was in the shower this morning, and thought I heard someone saying that the school leaving age is going to be raised to 18.

Can anything halt this New Year flow of outrageous educational ideas from Alan? It's as if he got really behind with his work and decide to cram all through the Christmas holidays. Now he's handing in all these frenzied pieces of overdue homework he's copied off the Internet.

PS By the way, for one week only, listen to the News Quiz here - there's a killer answer to the question on Ruth Kelly by Jeremy Hardy (about 5.30 minutes in.) And he is even funnier on the subject of the iPhone at about 18 minutes in.

It's League Table day!

2007-01-11T20:14:00.000Z

Well, actually, every day is league table day. That is the problem. But as it's the day when you get to see that your school can be summed up by two numbers (such as 51 and 1061.5,) here's a handy worksheet (don't worry if you haven't got a pen, I've summarised it for you.)

Why league tables are bad for students

By Ms Pepperpot

1) They distort the curriculum.

Schools have limited resources and there are a finite number of timeslots on the timetable. In a climate of league tables, schools will favour courses and options that maximize the points scored for students. However, this is rarely the best thing for all students. For example, some schools insist every child does a GNVQ - worth 4 GCSEs in the league tables. What if they are not interested in any of the GNVQ options? Another example is the debate over the science curriculum.

2) They distort the advice given to students.

You might think, naively, that the best advice for a particular student will be the advice that gives them the best exam results; so striving towards league table success will guarantee the best chances of 'success' for each individual student. This assumes that 'success' is the maximum number of points on the league table scale, irrespective of how those are earned and whether they will help the student in the next stage of their education or in the workplace. It also leaves out any concept of risk, of allowing students to be exposed to challenges. It leads pretty quickly to the assumption that students should only be entered on courses they are guaranteed to pass. So what do you think about the theoretical idea of a public exam system with a 100% pass rate? (see Ouroborus)

3) They stop students ever experiencing the consequences of their own actions.

When a student is late, absent, doesn't hand in work or can't be bothered to bring a pen or make notes, this should have an impact on his or her learning. He or she should learn, as a result, that punctuality, deadlines, personal organisation and above all hard work, are necessary for success in life. However, if their behaviour impacts in a negative way on their study, the results will drop. This will show up in the league tables, supposedly indicating a failure on the part of the institution. Therefore... if a student is late or absent, we will help them catch up. If they can't be bothered to make notes, we will make them handouts. If they don't hand in their coursework, we will chase them and extend the deadline right up to the wire. By the time they reach their first workplace, they are deeply marked by this - a terrifyingly large number of students have never had to face the consequences of lack of commitment or effort.

4) They steal teachers' souls

Humans working under pressure in a stressful environment, who are constantly prioritizing and who know that they can never do enough, are acutely sensitive to the currents that surround them. What is the priority? What really matters? When push comes to shove, when you are up against it, what do you choose, creativity or exam success? Answer: Exam success. To which of these endlessly demanding hoards of kids will you give your limited supplies of energy? Answer: Borderline kids (those who hover on the boundary of a statistically significant grade or mark difference. Such as the C/D borderline.) We want to educate the whole person but we have to service the pass rate first.

I'm not against evaluation, I'm not against criticism, I'm not against challenging poor standards. But this is not the way to do it.

A blinding flash of inspiration in the middle of an INSET

2007-01-11T18:11:00.000Z

It wasn't anything to do with the subject of the INSET itself. Here's what happened. The facilitator wanted us to do an active listening exercise; we would pair off, and then each speak for two minutes on any subject we wanted, while the other person listened to us. They would then feed back to us everything we had said.

However, the moment the slide went up on the screen, this is what went through my head...
...mm, could talk about blogging, no, ridiculous idea; could talk about role play gaming, no, he'll think I'm crazy; how about my new car? No, dull; My Mum? Too personal. My outfit? Just silly...

I was paralysed - it was utterly ludicrous! Then I suddenly realised that this is what happens to my students when I ask one of them for a random suggestion or contribution. I frequently pepper my explanations with demands such as, 'Let's imagine you are downloading a song by.... OK, someone name a pop group!' or 'Right, so you've got a database of names and addresses. Someone give me an imaginary name for a person in the database'. Invariably no-one says anything; and I then rant about how they have no imagination, how they are not paying attention and so on and so forth.

But they must be sitting there thinking
'Can't say Oasis cos I'll look stupid. Can't say Snow Patrol cos no-one will have heard of them. Can't say anything Goth cos Bob will laugh at me... can't... can't....

Anyway, I turned to my partner and spent two minutes explaining this insight.

Trying to work out a position on anonymity

2007-01-11T01:54:00.000Z

I'm thinking a lot about my blogging at the moment. I'm coming up on my blogiversary and my 100th post, and I have been thinking again about anonymity. When I started blogging last year I hadn't really thought it through, beyond an idle plan to stun the world with my witty badinage, and to bring Tony Blair to my door, begging me for an audience, where I would succinctly explain to him how to reform state education.

But as time has gone on I have become more confident in what I will and won't do when writing about actual events at work. One aspect of this is a desire to protect my students, who really don't need to stumble upon their silly behaviour thinly disguised while busy looking for videos of people falling over. The other aspect is to do with criticism. In blogging, as in life, my frustration and anger at educational policy usually goes straight to the source - i.e. the government. Sure, I have my share of whinges and gripes with my place of work but who doesn't? They divide into the intensely situational (which I am not particularly interested in sharing, especially as I like my SMT and think they are doing a good job) and the basically political (where I am more interested in criticising the policy than having a go at the way it was implemented in our particular situation.)

I also mix my comments on school and college management with places I have worked in the past, and the management in other schools and colleges where I have friends.

As a result of all this intense introspection, I've been playing about with a short statement to put on the side bar. I don't want to sound like I am covering myself from tyrannical persecution or getting ready to expose some terrible secrets. This is my current draft. Any comments much appreciated.

I blog anonymously - it makes thing easier. I 'fictionalise' my anedotes to avoid making anyone uncomfortable by recognising themselves, but I don't exaggerate to prove a point. My criticisms are aimed at government policy makers, and comments on how these policies play out in institutions are not to be read as criticisms of my workplace. In expressing my opinions I am in no way representing any institution for whom I work.

Burning up on re-entry

2007-01-10T19:32:00.000Z

Been back three days and it's been frantic up till the end of today. I always start the term exhausted as I get insomnia the last few nights of any holiday; however, once back at work I only have enough time to worry about one thing at a time so I am much happier. But during the first week, I always feel like a falling satellite, hitting the atmosphere and incinerating as I plummet back into the orbit of the school.

It's been a pretty hairy few days, culminating in the dispatch of 107 portfolios to the exam board this morning. This entailed a colleague and I checking every one, putting them into order by candidate number and then packing them lovingly into 17 plastic bags (the official bags each take about 7 portfolios.)

Doing this we both realised that actually the vast majority of our students are rather nice. When you are forced to consider, in turn, every single student, you realise how disproportionately the 'bad' kids take up your time and emotional energy.

By the way, for all you non A-level teachers; it is now January module time. So of course I have to go on a compulsory government INSET the day of my last lesson with my little lower sixths.

I'm just doodling about on this topic because I haven't really worked out what to say about the Ruth Kelly thing; and I really haven't the energy to digest the 'personalised timetables, SATs on demand, and private tuition on the government' thing.

I'll think of something. Promise.

A New Year's rude awakening

2007-01-07T13:40:00.000Z

2007 started badly as two young men tried to break into our house in the early hours of New Year's Day. As I looked down on them from my bedroom window, they looked up... and scarpered. I worried momentarily about what I would do if I recognised either of them.

Nothing was taken, the only damage a broken window which cost us time, effort, money and peace of mind. In the days afterwards, I experienced that intense anger where you imagine or even verbalise the words you would use to tear into them should you have the opportunity to talk those who have wronged you. "What right have you got to break into my house? I am a hard working, public spirited person. What do you mean, I can claim on insurance? Don't you understand that insurance premiums go up if people are always being broken into? What about my right to live a peaceful life, my right to feel safe in my own home?" But the feeling passed.

I am a theoretical believer in restorative justice. But my experience in education lead me to believe that actually making people change their understanding of what they are doing on a profound level is very difficult and takes time, care and patience - things we lack in today's society. How long does it take to change a child's mind so they understand that lateness to school is a bad thing that is slowly corroding their education? How long does it take to make a child understand that their belittling or mocking behaviour is actually bullying even though they just think it is the normal warp and weft of teenage life?

One of my colleagues announced at the beginning of last year that she had decided to try and change her own mindset instead of railing endlessly about the way the students are. Instead of wasting her own anguish, railing about their attitudes and behaviour, she has decided to focus all that mental energy on working out how to deal with the students and move them on. Maybe she is right. Maybe our righteous indignation, anger and passion is misdirected and serves only to hurt us and dissipate what energy we should have for creative solutions to the problems that face us.

Or is she wrong? Is it the burning, personal, deeply felt sense of anger at the way the world is that drives us forward, that gives us the energy to keep working in education?

I don't know.

On a different note, this was my first encounter with the Police since I became a blog reader. I was very impressed with the police officer who attended; not at all shocked by the amount of paperwork the incident provoked; charmingly able to save her time by knowing the meaning of terms due to my obsessive reading of 'Wasting Police Time'; less impressed the following day when the SOCO turned up despite the first officer telling us it was OK to go ahead and clear up as there was no point in the SOC people attending (explanation - change of shift); and generally reaffirmed in my prejudices that while individual police officers are fantastic, they are hemmed in by statistics and beaurocracy in much the same way as teachers.

Grumpy old teachers

2006-12-29T17:25:00.000Z

It's not that they're anti-computers. It's not that they are tiresome old stick in the muds, resistant to change, reluctant to embrace the future and let go of the past. It's just they know the foundations on which the future is built.

I am an occasional reader of 2 cents worth, a blog about the use of IT in education, written by self-styled 'education technology pioneer', David Warlick. Much of the discussion orbits around IT professionals and IT teachers who are embracing new technology (especially Web 2.0 etc) and trying to enthuse their colleagues about it. Often, they find that the response from other teachers ranges from the amused to the downright hostile. These 'stick in the muds' are often held up to criticism (not so much by David but by his readers) as being unwilling to learn new things. This kind of criticism always piques me and I have been thinking about it for a while now.

I am sympathetic, up to a point. I have done more than my fair share of advocacy for ILT. When you are an IT teacher, you also get an option on a second job of general muse and enthusiast for the progress of IT within an institution. And I can get angry, restless, judgemental as often as the next person. However, I am finding myself more and more on the side of the cynics and Luddites who bemoan the loss of library space in schools (culled to make way for more computers) and who sniff at their new electronic whiteboards. While we should be looking at the nature of the new curriculum and constantly asking ourselves what our students should really be learning, we must also remember that as 30-something and 40-something teachers, our own ability to deal with and adapt to this new digital era is built upon the rock solid foundation of really good reading, writing, mathematical and reasoning skills. We learned these from a paper-based curriculum. Thus we must fight for our students' right of access to literacy, numeracy and philosophical competency, and their right to be exposed to the painstaking, dogged and long-winded process of learning these skills to a high level.

I've been meaning to post about this for some time; it was M (of musingsonamac, who functions as my official supplier of right wing web content) who sparked me into writing by sending me this link to Boris Johnson on the subject of computer games.

However, lest you skim read this and come to the conclusion that I like Boris and don't like David, I am adding the always challenging and very readable Mr W to my blog roll as he continues to make me think, and is thus obviously a great teacher.

Blog jargon

2006-12-28T18:00:00.000Z

Was looking up the correct spelling of blogiversary and found this fantastic list of blog jargon.

I can now confess to being a sufferer of hitnosis.

Hitnosis
To become mesmerized by constantly reloading a Web browser to see if a blog's hit counter has increased or comments section has expanded. (Coined by Perry de Havilland)

I was also tickled by this definition:

Clog Blog
A blog written in Dutch and/or by someone in Holland

This launched my partner and I into a frenzy of naming and we would like to be the first to coin the following phrases:

Hog Blog
A blog about pigs

Snog Blog
A blog about kissing

Tog Blog
A blog about duvets

Obviously, if any of you wish to add to this you are most welcome.

PS And to think, I was actually supposed to be writing a long, verbose, utterly profound 'what is the point of this blog' type posting... looks like another Christmas miracle, then...

A Christmas miracle

2006-12-23T20:37:00.000Z

Most of the blogs on my RSS feed seem to have dried up slightly over the last few days... and who blames them. But I thought I might lighten your evening (when you creep to the computer to escape the present wrapping, saying that you have to check the weather reports for travel...) and reproduce the following.

As the chimes of midnight rolled over the battlefield, the gunfire fell silent. In the first moments of a frosty Christmas morning, they emerged from their entrenched positions and began to cross the barran no-man's land that was not, on reflection, so wide. The Windows users, weary and fractious from so many needless reboots, held out their hands in cautious friendship to the wary Mac users. The Mac users, bewildered by the unkempt and diverse nature of the enemy, who could not even manage a stylish uniform let alone matching lap top accessories, gradually overcame their fear and engaged the Windows users in conversation, finding after a while that one or two of them actually did know something about web design and new media. After a while, pieces of shareware were brought out and offered to the enemy. A cautious game of Tetris was struck up. Several people began to swap pictures, the Mac users biting their tongues at the delay while the Windows users fretted over their camera drivers. As the sun eventually rose, happy individuals were sat together, blogging and chatting away and remembering how it felt when there were just geeks and non-geeks, back in the day before the wars broke out.

Then, suddenly, a stray blog posting, shot off without thought, suggested that Macs were the lush toys of rich creatives who had never done a real day's work in their lives. Before anyone could add an emoticon, a Mac blogger had returned fire by implying that Windows users were all corporate drones with no souls. In a moment, the battlefield was once more riddled with gunfire and destruction. And the Christmas miracle was forgotten...

End-of-termitis

2006-12-17T12:46:00.000Z

Symptoms
1) Bone-deep weariness, a shortness of temper, an overwhelming depression at how little has been taught and learnt this term, melancholic contemplation of other possible careers

2) A trance-like state caused by heady anticipation of the holidays, leading to stupidly late nights and a general attempt to burn out not fade away

3) The slow but irreversible degeneration of lessons into quizzes, games, videos and other mindless issues. Alternatively, a rarer but more virulent strain causes a rash of tests and mock exams. These lead to terrible bouts of marking, often delayed for many weeks and manifesting themselves when the sufferer believed themselves to be symptom free

Heads of Department, Faculty, School and others will find themselves suffering from Present Allocation Disorder. PAD is caused by desperately trying to work out whom to buy presents for, and how much to spend. Most schools have this nasty condition well-managed by a complex wine cascade, in which senior managers give middle managers bottles of wine from Marks and Spencers, and middle managers give their juniors bottles of wine from ASDA and so on.

Commiserations to all of you suffering with me at this time of the year. Some people hold summer bouts to be the worst, but in my opinion, the Christmas version, with its bacchanalian overtones and endless bags of Haribo, is the nastiest.

A definition of irony

2006-12-09T12:14:00.000Z

The blogsphere has made me realise that the teaching profession is not alone in its insane slavery to the gods of statistics, targets and league tables. The police and the NHS are similarly burdened.

This post from The Policeman's Blog is great.

We are soap

2006-12-08T21:36:00.000Z

Let's not be frightened of rumours. If you are even seen walking around with a member of staff of the opposite sex, the kids will speculate that you are in love. We are their entertainment, their soap opera... Here's a tip. Don't deny. Elaborate. Many years ago I would support a young male colleague in his two hours of Friday afternoon hell with the bottom set by drifting into his lesson to 'sort a few bits of paper out' at the back of the classroom every week. After a while the kids started teasing him and he got flustered. Finally, one of them challenged me. 'Are you and Sir going to get married?'
'Yes.' I answered. 'When my divorce from the Head comes through. And when Mr Jones gets custody of his kids from Miss Simpson in Art.'
They shut up.

PS Many years later another colleague was accused of fancying me by a Lower Sixth group. 'No, no' he protested, flushing 'Ms Pepperpot has a boyfriend.'
'And I bet they just sit and make spreadsheets together' came a sarcastic voice from the back of the class...

Contextualised Value Added - coming soon to a Self-Assessment Report near you?

2006-12-04T19:20:00.000Z

This article was out of the blue.

Colleges have complained that a new government method for measuring "value added" penalises them if their students do too well in their A-levels. In certain cases, the system, which is being developed by the Department for Education and Skills (DfES), lowers a college's value added score as more grade As are notched up by A-level students. It also adjusts scores downwards for bigger colleges because their students on average go for more qualifications and notch up more A-level points.

Having just done my annual write-up of my department's statistical data, I was stunned to read about this. We use ALIS (A-level Information System) which gives us a residual (a number around 1) which if it's greater than 1 is a Good Thing, and if it's below 1 is a Bad Thing. There's also an S (if it's statistically significant) and a three year trend. And then we also use the sparkly new ALPS (A-level Performance System) which gives us a single number, a ranking from 1 to 9, which is colour-coded, red being 'hot' (good department! Well done!) and blue being 'cold' (Bad department! Naughty teachers!) I haven't yet come across CVA, unless it's the same as 'distance travelled' which takes the form of a pretty graph.

The basic idea of any VA system is to take a large amount of data and then compare the progress made by students between testing landmarks (SATs, GCSEs, A-levels) with the average for the country in general. This data can be used to help work out if a student is progressing, or to try and indicate if a teacher, department or school are producing grades that are lower or higher than the national average (either to help them discern how effective their teaching is, or to incentivise them, or to provide a label for the general public.) But like any statistic they have a dark side. VA is much, much better than raw results when trying to evaluate education; but because the way these statistics are created is based on specific statistical judgements, the different systems give contradictory results. If you are not careful you are 'working the numbers' just as much as you do when going for exam statistics.

I confess even I, with my reasonably high level of mathematical literacy and freakish obsession with data don't understand the true meaning of the numbers. And now here's another VA system and it conflicts with the ones we use. I see a crisis looming, not least when I have to add another set of statistics to my already bloated SAR...

A-level reform

2006-12-01T17:49:00.000Z

Sorry I didn't blog about this when it was announced yesterday. Did anyone know it was coming? I'd heard about some aspects of the change but some were out of the blue for me. I've been supervising exams all day so you would have thought I would have used the time to mull over a profound reply; but in fact I spent it honing a useful new acronym which I will reveal in a moment.

So... what have we got?

1) The extended project. Knew about that one - seen the draft proposals too. As far as I can see, everyone at the moment more or less agrees that coursework is becoming meaningless because of a) the Internet and b) the drive to improve results, which means students' work is endlessly remarked and deadlines endlessly extended. So how does throwing a project into the mix improve the situation - surely it'll have the same weaknesses as coursework?

2) The specialised diplomas. Seen some of these too, specifically one to do with computer games, animation and multimedia. Here's the thing. There are many kids who want to be computer games designers or web designers because they like playing computer games and surfing the web. If they are going to be any use to the industry, they need to be mathematically literate and learn hardcore progamming, system design etc. In other words some A-levels, or an established rigourous vocational programming course like BTEC or similar. Does the computer industry really want a load of students who for one reason or another were not able to study hard maths or programming courses and were steered into these new diplomas instead? I can only comment on what I know.

3) The A*. Fine. No problem. Quite happy with that. For all I honestly care, divide the A-level grades into A-J or any other arbitrary number of grades. All I know is that
a) I will carry on teaching as hard as I can and
b) there will be benchmarks and league tables and some grades will be more important to the reputation of an institution than others (currently it's A-B, it used to be A-C, no doubt it will be A*- A before too long) The real issue about standards is tied up with resits and modularisation.

4) The International Baccalaureate. Well, the qualification would seem to be a good thing in itself but we know that we'll end up with a two or three tier system. We couldn't even tolerate having both polytechnics and universities, we had to rename so they were all the same... we're not going to be able to resist the temptation to label the IB as 'better' than A-levels. And unless you live in a megalopolis, the illusion of 'choice' is usually deceptive.

All this is very nice. However, we need to remember that all these reforms will play out in the light of the defining feature of our wonderful UK education system. Which is of course... league tables.

1) The extended project will be delivered in such a way that the results are as high as possible with minimum risk of failure. Colleges and schools will make sure that students choose projects that will safely guarantee good marks. So no risk, no flair. And if they aren't good enough, maybe they will need to be draft marked... and if you don't hand them in on time... we're not going to let you fail your A-levels for that, now, are we...

2) Diplomas. One question. Will they get better grades (using whatever agreed point equivalency they dream up) than A-levels? We're doing them.

3) A-levels just gained an extra grade that only the best of the best should earn? Right now, let's see your action plan for increasing the number of students gaining an A* in your subject.

4) The IB. Yes, it will be offered. And the pass rate will go up and up and up until people are complaining that the standards are dropping. Becuase the teachers will work and work until they find ways of delivering it with maximum exam success; and students who aren't likely to pass it will be steered elsewhere.

Will it solve the problems? Ultimately no.

B.O.L.T.S.

Because of league tables, stupid

Dog nut spread shit...

2006-11-29T19:00:00.000Z

...was the title of Jermaine's rather natty spreadsheet today (part of my soon to be published IT scheme of work 'How to teach everything using the Simpsons')

More on baby milk revisionism

2006-11-27T23:21:00.000Z

Reading the comments on that post on NHS Blog Doctor has led me to News Sniffer which appears to keep archives of evolving news stories. The really interesting edits happen between versions 4 and 6.

The BBC, the baby milk and the indestructible nature of data

2006-11-27T19:30:00.000Z

This is momentous. NHS Blog doctor reported on Nov 20th that the BBC had been conned by a pressure group called 'Act Against Allergy' into reporting a story about children's allergies to milk that was in fact a thinly veiled attempt to market a hypoallergenic baby milk substitute made by the company SHS international...who run 'Act Against Allergy'.

Two days ago, he started getting e-mails accusing him of not checking his facts.

So he went back and checked the story and discovered.... that the BBC have gone back and changed the original story! But as he says, data is never lost once published on the Internet... so you can read the cached original here, the reworked version here, and NHS Blog doctor's criticism of the original article here.

Today I taught a lesson during which I asked my students to discuss the question 'How can you trust what you read on the Internet?' They all said 'You can't.'

Stacey Slater the next Stella McCartney?

2006-11-25T11:07:00.000Z

Sometimes blogging about education feels like floating in a surreal swamp of madness, injustice and really, really stupid ideas. According to this idea from the skills council,

Giving teenage soap characters dead-end jobs and low aspirations risks shattering young viewers' career dreams, TV writers have been warned.

Now I don't watch EastEnders, but apparantly there's this character called Stacey Slater who works on a trading stall.

The LSC says that if she were to put her skills to good use and take a Level 2 diploma in fashion retail, for example, she could progress from Walford market to her own designer fashion boutique.

Please, if you read this blog, and you know this Stacey, is this a realistic aim for her? And please, if you read this blog, and you teach on a Level 2 diploma in fashion retail, is this really the main thing holding her back from starting her own little business?

The Teacher, the detention and a case of accidental optimism

2006-11-22T18:17:00.000Z

The Teacher is (I think) in his second year of teaching IT and his blog today included this great posting, called The Club. It's a sorry tale of heavy sarcasm disrupted by a burst of optimistic creativity. I await updates of this tale with great anticipation!

PS Isn't it shocking how students don't actually get sarcasm these days? One of my favourite rants has completely lost its impact.

'Well, don't worry, I'm sure the exam board won't mind if you don't answer questions on this topic because you overslept. I'll just pop a note on the end of your exam paper and they can give you a few extra marks to make up for it.'

'O cool, Miss, that's alright then, isn't it.'

Written in horror as I listened to Christine Gilbert on the six o'clock news

2006-11-22T18:01:00.000Z

Great! If you think your school is failing, here is the advice from the Head of Ofsted.

She said parents could be "a major force for change" and should put pressure on weaker schools, such as asking why no homework had been set.

What about this as an idea? Your children go to a 'failing' school? Why not first check that your children arrive at school every day, on time, with a good attitude, well-fed and well-equipped, and with the manners and respect necessary to learn? Most schools I know that no longer set homework have given up because it is either a long drudge or a complete farce getting students to do it, and there is no support from parents if students are then punished for not doing it.

In nearly one in three secondary schools, behaviour was found to be "no better than satisfactory overall, and in these schools there are also instances of disruptive or distracting behaviour from some pupils".

Does this mean that in one in three secondary schools there are terrible teachers who can't control the kids, or could this be an epidemic of awful behaviour which is unchallenged because there is no parental support in changing it?

Oh, Lord preserve us all. And to think I was logging on to post some cheerful stuff.

PS quotes are from the Guardian and the BBC

Part-time work teaches sixth-formers to manage their time (and hand in work late)

2006-11-15T19:01:00.000Z

One in 10 sixth-formers who works part-time said their jobs had forced them to hand in school assignments late, a new survey for the Learning Skill Council (LSC) reveals.

Oh dear. Their work is forcing them to hand in their work late. Busy earning megabucks they are compelled to squeeze those old bits of coursework around the shifts at Top Shop.

But wait! Why are they putting themselves through this ordeal?

Young people said the benefits of working while learning included being better at time management and motivating them on their courses and learning programmes, the survey revealed.

Read all about it here!

My experience is that 90% of students work to pay for their mobile upgrades, their designer clothes and their bingey weekend clubbing trips. They would not dream of turning up late for work but they happily stroll in half an hour late the following morning; look dopey when confronted about their missing homework; and offer neither apology nor explanation. Thankfully, some start to realise they are trading short term gain for long term results and drop their hours in the upper six.

The other 10% work to support themselves or sometimes even their families. Those students have my respect and I am happy to give them as many coursework extensions as they need.

Lovely story

2006-11-14T22:58:00.000Z

They're using fountain pens in Dundee.

What I love about this story is the courage shown in chosing to make students learn something that a) demands patience and b) is not related to instantly improving exam success.

"Why would I wanna be anywhere else?"

2006-11-11T11:11:00.000Z

Friday. Giddy exhaustion tempered by the knowledge that the clock is ticking and I won't have to mark tonight.

I've got a full day ahead, no lunch break, so the thirty five minutes of illicit, caffeine-laced work time first thing in the morning is even more precious than usual. Illicit because we are not supposed to drink coffee in the classrooms... but all my stuff is there and I need to hide...

Task one of the day is to rescue the two Christmas packages (for children in Eastern Europe) from the back of the cupboard and take them to the collection point before any of my tutor group arrive. They were actually created, lovingly, twelve months ago, but I forgot to hand them in before the collection date so I have been hiding them from the girls ever since.

An e-mail - someone else is off ill. I'm already organising cover for one absent member of staff. Off I go to find a victim...loud music is echoing down the stairwell. It's only 8.45 so I shouldn't get annoyed. And it's Lily Allen, 'LDN', which I love, so I stop to complement the kids on the stairs on their taste. It becomes the soundtrack of the day.

First lesson. Olivia's supposed to be tackling an extended coursework project. This consists of her asking for help every five minutes.
'What do I do next?'
'Well, (as I've said before), you need to look at your aims and objectives in turn and work out how to implement them in your database, using the skills I have taught you, and the extensive handouts I have written and fifteen minute verbal recap I have done about six time now.'
'Miss, that's really difficult.'

I start my usual verbal tape recording about how the second year of A-level is difficult and she, as a seventeen year old with an application to university already written, should at least have a go before giving up...
Then I break off, call up the handouts and point to one. 'Do this' I say.

Five minutes later she speaks again. 'Miss, done that, it's really easy! What do I do next?'

Break is a disaster! Lovely Sue, who comes in to make coffee for the staff, is off. After a few minutes of penguin-like flapping, people start to fend for themselves. But there's no milk (Sue brings it in.) Out the back of the staff room in the tiny corridor by the stock cupboard, I bump into Rob the philosophy teacher, who furtively clutches a tiny container of the precious liquid.
'It's Jack's - he doesn't want everyone to know he has it - but you can have some'
'Oh, I couldn't possibly, that's not fair.'
'No, no, have some. It's completely morally justifiable. Think of the kids. Think of how badly you'll teach without coffee.' I take it, expressing wide-eyed horror at the expediency of his ethics, and decline to mention I was only out there because I know about the secret fridge where they keep the milk for the SMT meetings.

Second lesson, same group. I turn on the projector, fire up IE and type in www.whitehouse.gov. In less than a second, the Whitehouse website is on the screen. 'Right, in groups, explain how that happened.' Ten minutes later they are drawing on the board, one from each group.

One group has drawn something that looks like this.

Two other groups have variations on this: When you type into the computer, a beam goes up to a satellite and then goes down to the Whitehouse and then comes back.

After much questioning, we arrive a something better; we have recalled WANs (which I taught in October), we have remembered what a server is and we know what an ISP is. I am drawing madly, whiteboard marker everywhere, comments and questions flowing thick and fast. It's great. Then Kelly, a really, really nice young woman, says unexpectedly and in a voice thick with adolescent disdain 'You really get off on this, don't you Miss?' Splutter at her angrily for quite some time. Reflect all day on the fact that although children say they want enthusiastic teachers they don't respect us for it.

Tutorial; six students want my comments now on their UCAS applications, which they have been writing (apparently) since June. They are quite charming about it, though, especially as they know I will rip them to shreds if I find a spelling mistake. Every one says they have a passion for their subject. Every one lists 'socialising with friends' as their chief interest outside college. Apart from Sarah's, which is about the joy she feels when reading nineteenth century women's novels and how it helps her to make sense of life; this brings tears to my eyes when I read it.

Into my Foundation class, which you can think of as a small case study in the reasons some children fail to flourish in education. Bob, Carl and Anton have various learning differences on the autistic spectrum and are delightful. They love college, love the work, and have already finished the assignment. The difficulty is trying to get them to slow down and consider how they could improve it beyond their first attempts. 'But I've done it, Miss!' Of the others, for the first time in eight weeks, everyone is on time. Serendipitously I have a bag of sweets on me - the ones from last year's Christmas packages that will now go out of date before they reach their destination. Anderson, who has only been in the country six months, and is still getting used to computers (along with being teased, which appears to be a whole new experience for him) is researching day trips for youth clubs. We have quite a profitable discussion about why Puerto Rico is not an ideal choice, despite the fact it came up first when he typed 'Trip' into Google.

Out of Foundation and straight to a disciplinary meeting. It's lunchtime, so I eat my sandwich on the way. David has missed thirty percent of his lessons for me, done no work, and greets every admonishment with a cheeky grin that presses all my buttons. It turns out, though, that I have been quite blessed: he has not attended geography since September, and owes his sociology teacher six essays. He cannot explain any of this, our comments bouncing off him. Letters home are drafted, conditions set, and threats uttered. He's a bright boy, he could pass anyway, but we don't leave with any further understanding of why he's not attending. (Post-sixteen education; our motto, 'So much easier because they all want to be there')

Out of the disciplinary meeting and a quick tour; things to sign, e-mails to send, handouts to photocopy, coffee to source and consume. I meet a sad looking Bob. He's just overheard some students being cruel about him while he was in the loo. He has no idea who they were as he did not see them, but he is devastated. His Asperger's syndrome means he just can't handle this at all. He wants to know what he can do about it. The answer is nothing. I tell him he could think about how those people are wrong and how he is a good person and lots of people like him and are glad he is at college.
'Who?'
He's not fishing for compliments. 'I like you Bob, I think you are a great person, and I know that Miss Carter and Mrs Brown like you too.' He looks a bit happier.

The bell goes for the last double period and I have a lower sixth group. Twenty-four eager faces waiting to study the Data Protection Act ('Look at me when I'm talking please. Alan, please don't talk when I'm talking. Headphones out of your ears, please. Alan, please sit properly in your chair. Bob, Keith, Surita, Dhalia, you're late. Again.') David gives me a beautifully folded origami flower that he has been making. I start to be grumpy that he has wasted both his time and our paper, but he protests that the paper was his, and of course we haven't done any work yet because we are all still faffing around ('Yes, we are doing some work, yes, get your folders out, you need paper and a pen, yes, you do need to bring a pen') I accept the flower with grace.

A colleague from maths walks in to tell me he cannot work the SMART board next door. I am not charming, I tell him I am teaching. He looks forlorn, so I return to the class room with him and do SMART board 101 in under a minute. My status as benevolent Head of IT, who always has time for a colleague struggling to use ILT, is threatened. Remind myself that maths teachers are like guided missiles and once pointed at their goal have little time for subtlety.

The wonderful Richard Thomas, who I adore for his uncompromising stance on all things privacy related, lets me down badly. The exercise I have planned using the ICO website crashes and burns as their server is down - this is unprecedented. Instead we do an off-the-cuff lesson on sound in PowerPoint. I show them PartnersinRhyme where they can download sounds legally. We revist the subject of copyright from last lesson. Again, we go round the block. Demitri brings the argument to decisive halt 'I download lots of music Miss, I'm not going to pay 99p per track - I can't afford it!' Most students mumble their agreement. Of course we should get things for free if we want them! How stupid you are, Miss! Juan tries the 'But everyone breaks the law, Miss' line. He does not believe me when I tell him I try not to break the speed limit. Eventually, I say, a bit too loudly, that he shouldn't assume that everyone else breaks the law and is immoral and criminal just because he is. Everyone laughs.

I tell them that for once, they can turn up the loudspeakers on their computer. Slowly, quietly the different sound effects start as they explore the site. They start to riff off each other. The first person find the war section and lets off a grenade. For five minutes the lads fire at each other across the room. Then the battle of the 80's TV themes starts. It's genuinely hilarious, they are really enjoying it. Meanwhile the girls are 'Mwahing' at each other, having found all the kissing noises. Periodically I remind them they actually have to embed these sounds in their presentations.

The bell goes.

Sun in the sky, oh why, oh why, would I wanna be anywhere else?

Education news update

2006-11-09T00:21:00.000Z

Trying to summon some enthusiasm here for an update of all that's new in UK education news!

Most blatantly obvious discovery of the week! If children can't read, and then they get lots of one-to-one help from skilled teachers, they learn to read better, and quite quickly too! (here) This is obviously quite a startling piece of news because we all know that class size does not matter.

Confusing policy announcement of the week! Alan Johnson is actually discussing the role of parents in education (satire aside, this is a very good development) He says parents should spend more time playing with and talking to their children. However, in order to facilitate this...he is going to make sure schools stay open longer in the evening. Don't get it.

I give up. I've just watched two episodes of Spooks and I think I'll become a spy instead. Buy some jeans and white t-shirts and a black leather jacket and just stride around shooting people like Hermione Norris.

Faith schools

2006-11-08T23:13:00.000Z

It depends on the faith, you see.

By which I DON'T mean that certain faiths are inherently good and therefore allowed to prosletyse, while other faiths are inherently bad and should be prevented from doing so.

No. I think we should examine what the faith (or the denomination or the specific branch/founder/order of the faith) has to say about education and simply judge on that.

Because the actual ethos of a faith school can very widely.

'We are followers of the faith of Pong. We believe that everyone is special and that Pong loves everyone. Our deity Pong is especially concerned to see children grow up into happy, fulfilled adults who can be a force for good in the world. As followers of Pong, we respect the followers of other faiths and seek to learn from them. We believe Pong loves everyone, no matter what they believe and we believe we are especially required by our faith to serve the poor and the needy.'

'We are followers of the faith of Ping. We believe that those who believe in Ping are special and should be given preferential treatment. Our deity Ping is most concerned to see children grow up into followers of Ping. As followers of Ping, we think all other faiths are at best misguided and at worse the worship of anti-Ping, and will treat them accordingly. We believe that we are here to serve the followers of Ping and those who aspire to join them.'

I reckon the school founded by Pongites might seek to be a caring school, willing to go out on a limb for disadvantaged kids, and would probably be a place where followers of all faiths would feel respected.

I reckon the school founded by Pingites might actually be quite a scary school, in danger of promoting their own faith at the expense of others and would probably be a place where intolerance lurked in the corners.

Not about teaching II

2006-11-07T23:48:00.000Z

Book review number 2 - Wasting Police Time' by PC David Copperfield is another good blog-based read. It is slightly more acerbic than 'Blood, Sweat and Tea' and it has a much more specific argument - that modern policing is in a mess because of government policy. Specifically, the damage is caused by bureaucracy (such as the five separate pieces of paper work that David has to fill out after he triggers a speed camera on the way to an emergency) and the need to keep the statistics favorable. If you read this blog regularly you will know that I believe that league tables are the root of all evil, so I was both smug and shocked to read about how statistics have twisted the way the Police Service (sic) is run. I won't attempt to explain it, but believe me, the 'Administrative Detection' is responsible not just for some misleading statistics, but also for a skewing of how people like PC Copperfield prioritise their time. (Here's a review which explains the issue in part.) Read the book.

But like Tom Reynolds in BS&T, David obviously enjoys aspects of his job as well, and you can feel the humanity and warmth in his writing - the kind of copper you'd like to encounter in a dire situation.

Both these two books have been a delight to get lost in. I haven't managed to get as enthused about Frank Chalk's 'It's your time your wasting.' It's extremely well written but whereas the other two allowed me to escape into the fascinating world of a different job, this book simply reminds me of things I already know. I've picked it up and put it down four or five times. Sorry, Frank, no offence... Maybe policemen love it...

For interest, here are some other books which take you into a different world...
'Kitchen Confidential' by Anthony Bourdain - about the life of a chef
'Hotel Babylon' and 'Air Babylon' by Imogen Edwards-Jones and Anonymous
about a day in the life of a hotel manager and airline manager respectively.

If anyone knows of any others please let me know - I love them.

Not about teaching

2006-10-30T19:39:00.000Z

The last few days of the half term were spent relaxing and trying to achieve at least one night's sleep uninterrupted by sudden night terrors about the number of lessons left until January modules.

I also received a big parcel of books from the lovely people at Amazon including three blogger-written tomes. The first one I read was 'Blood, Sweat and Tea' by Tom Reynolds. His blog 'Random Acts of Reality' is now firmly on my RSS list and will be on my blogroll when I can find some time to update my template.

It's an account of life as a London EMT (=paramedic, although there is a difference) I adore books which draw you into the world of a workplace or institution and this is a really, really good one. It's a well balanced mix of tragic stories, anedotes and fascinating nuggets, told with wit and huge compassion. There's also lots of toe-curling accounts of the impact of government targets, so it's great fodder for my continual howl against the corrosive effects on British life of league tables and the like.

The most extraordinary thing for me was the extent of Tom's enthusiasm, professionalism and sheer goodwill. He regularly characterises himself as hating everyone, but in fact he seems to be an outstandingly decent bloke who is remarkably optimistic in the face of the almost criminal stupidity of many people (such as people who lie about having heart attacks, which results in ambulance drivers hurtling across London at dangerous speeds, only to find that the patient has a bit of a cough which they've had for a few weeks now and won't go away...)

It has honestly made me stop and think. Sure, I have a tough job but hey, I've not had any HIV positive patients' blood in my mouth recently.

Didn't stop me being grumpy as hell today, though.

PS If you want to buy the book, I suggest you go to Tom's blog via the link above and scroll down, then click on the link on the right. But you know that. Sorry.

Other delightful things to make you glad you live in the era of the Internet

2006-10-25T17:57:00.000+01:00

Onesentence - a web site devoted to telling true stories in a single sentence... it's riveting.

Amazing videos - a knife bursting a water balloon and a cigarette lighter igniting, both in slow motion.

Handy Latin phrases - ventis secundis, tene cursum

Unbelievable wind powered robots

An exquisite piece of science inspired animation

And finally the totally weird (spelled correctly) and slightly spooky Whitney Chromatic.

Let out your inner artist!

2006-10-23T12:07:00.000+01:00

Some web sites to help you express yourself:

Start with a visit to jacksonpollack.org; this should get you in the mood. (You can see some genuine Pollocks here.)

Slightly less abstract is the wonderful Mr Picasso Head complete with Picasson style signature.

Art Pad is a clever Paint-style application which allows you to regress to childhood and enjoy slapping paint onto paper, albeit in a virtual manner.

And finally, go here and download the freeware version of Art Rage2, a truly fabulous painting program which allows you to work with paint that behaves and looks remarkably realistic. The longer you drag the mouse without releasing it, the less paint remains on the brush. Painting one colour over another results in satifsying (or annoying) smudging between the different colours. I am just about to upgrade to the full version which promises glitter, metallic paints and other goodies!

Release you inner child, create and express yourself, and no-one will tell you to wash the paint pots afterwards!

This posting released under the terms and conditions of my half-term pledge. Normal service will be resumed on 30th October.

Half-term wanderings in the web

2006-10-21T11:14:00.000+01:00

I am a geek and therefore delight in spending the first day of any school holiday in my pyjamas messing around on the computer.

If you are a PC user with a broadband internet connection, have a look at this excerpt from 'Brilliant Ignorance.' It lists dozens of freeware applications you can download for your PC. I especially recommend Mozilla Firefox (web browser - once you try, you'll never go back) and ATnotes, which allow you to litter your desktop with fully customisable transaprent post-it notes in various colours.

A few months ago I found a web application that dramatically reduced the amount of dull and useless TV I watched in my spare time. StumbleUpon lets you download a toolbar which sits at the top of your browser with a button cheerfully marked Stumble! You choose topics that interest you, and when you hit the button, it gives you a random page from those catagories. StumbleUpon has built up a vast, user-recommended database of websites and allows you to visit your favourites via a web page at any time. I now spend literally hours online, simply pressing the button and have come across dozens of fabulous web sites as a result. One of my colleagues has had to remove the toolbar in order to get his life back...

If you are still too tired and grumpy to think about doing anything purposeful, a visit to The Pipecleaner Dance might restore your soul. You can play it with mouse or keyboard. Making a small pipecleaner man dance like John Travolta to 'Staying Alive' is just huge, huge fun and guaranteed to put a childish smile on your face. David Bessler is a hero.

This posting is part of my half-term pledge. Normal service will be resumed on 30th October

A half-term announcement

2006-10-20T21:44:00.000+01:00

It's now officially half term! And in a bold move that I will regret when sober, I am pledging to give up my depressing trawl through UK education news for nine days and instead prove that inside this weary and jaded husk there is still a creative and optimistic core.

To start with, if you are not feeling sufficiently chilled out yet, may I commend OK Go's 'Here It Goes Again.' I know it's been around for a while now, but if you haven't seen it, watch it at once. It always cheers me up.

Vive les vacances!

Would you teach in a school with compulsory hijab?

2006-10-19T23:58:00.000+01:00

I've been thinking through the issue of the Madani High School's proposed dress code, which includes hijab for all girls, including non-Muslims. (There's a nicely emotive headline here - the schoolgirls will be forced to wear headscarves which sounds like a St Trinian-esque sub-dom scenario with a misguided sartorial twist.)

I haven't got a daughter so I couldn't get my head round the question of whether I'd send her to a good school where she had to wear a headscarf... So instead I have been asking myself whether I would take a job in a school which required me to cover my head. It wouldn't offend me as Christian to adopt an Islamic practice per se. On the other hand, I dislike the theological and philosophical basis of headcovering and what it says about women and men... but I am usually quite pragmatic about matters like this (for pragmatic read cowardly.)

To be really honest, though, at the end of an eight week half term, on my last legs after two Open Evenings and a bout of food poisoning...I would love to be able to wear a scarf and not have to worry about how terrible my hair is looking at the moment. Yep, I am that shallow.

Tribunal rules on Aisha Azmi

2006-10-19T21:13:00.000+01:00

An industrial tribunal has ruled that Aisha Azmi was not the victim of religious discrimination, but was nevertheless victimized. (BBC) Turns out she has been suspended since February last year! Obviously the whole affair was only spotlighted as a convenient way for the press to keep the Jack Straw debate going.

Let's not forget that Tony himself waded in on this one.

Me, I'm more convinced than ever that it's untenable to have teachers wearing face veils. I am moved by Azmi's words when she asks us to remember that Muslim women who wear the veil are "not aliens", and am sympathetic to the fact she clearly feels put upon, and who blames her? She's absolutely right when she says that politicians should watch what they say as the impact on individuals can be profound and damaging.

However, she is wrong to labour the point that she can teach 'perfectly' while veiled and to make, again, the spurious comparison to teaching blind children. (Couldn't find a web link but she was interviewed on the Radio 4 news.) That's a stupid comparison. If her child went to school and needed extra support with listening skills, and that support was given by someone who could not speak, instead communicating only through sign language, would she be happy with this? Would the comment that 'hearing impaired children learn brilliantly so why are you so prejudiced?' be acceptable to her? I think we are all capable of recognising the excellence of teachers (and students) with various learning differences, without resorting to specious comparisons and idiotic logic.

Sorry, a bit angry there.

"You have a blog... tell them how you feel"

2006-10-17T21:24:00.000+01:00

This made me so defeated. It's an article about Internet plagiarism in universities. Most of it's fairly dull, but this bit jumped off the screen and slapped me round the face...

Some institutions may share some of the blame because they "go around insisting everyone is using PowerPoint and gives out hand-outs", according to Baroness Deech.

She said: "If people were given books, there might be more chance they would digest what they are reading."

We spoonfeed them handouts and PowerPoint presentations because it gets us better results. Do you want young people to be given the chance to think, to try to read proper books and extract the key points for their essays, to attempt their own research and do things for themselves? Fine, but more of them will fail. And we are supposed to be avoiding failure at all costs.

Which do you want? You decide, and when you decide, tell us teachers which you want. AND THEN SHUT UP. Sorry, Ruth Deech. You've kicked the last spark out of my already exhausting day.

Breaking news - hijab to be compulsory

2006-10-15T15:01:00.000+01:00

At voluntary-aided Madani High School in Leicester, hijab (modest dress, i.e. covering of the hair) will be compulsory even for non-Muslim girls. This is breaking news reported by the TES here at 13:00 today, Sunday 15th Oct. Let's see how soon it hits the news bulletins.

Can't even begin to think through a cogent response to this one.

Calls for Aisha Azmi to be sacked.

2006-10-15T13:30:00.000+01:00

Phil Woolas says that Aisha Azmi should be sacked. The BBC report it here and Mr Woolas's discussion with the Mirror is here .

The most interesting thing is the video of the interview with Ms Azmi. She admits after much blustering that she was interviewed with her face uncovered by a male governor; and although she is quite cagey, it seems to me that she did not make it clear at her interview that she would be unwilling to work unveiled at the school. Throughout the TV clip she insists she is perfectly able to communicate but the footage clearly disproves that - we are unable to see whether she is genuinely confused by the TV interviewer (Peter Sissons?), intimidated, or completely aware that this admission is about to hole her case below the waterline. Deprived of her facial expressions, her voice sounds strident and unpersuasive, which is a pity.

It's very interesting that Sissons takes the line that Azmi should have made certain assumptions because it was a Church of England school. Azmi then takes the line that she made other assumptions because it was a 'mainly Muslim school'. Surely neither of these factors are at all relevant if this is an argument about whether she could do her job or not. So what if the kids are used to seeing veiled women? The issue is their needs in the classroom. If they are receiving bilingual support they are already at a disadvantage in our school system and they deserve the best help they can get. However, it's also arguable that a bilingual support worker from one's own community is the best possible resource in this situation, so this advantage outweighs any disadvantage such as the hindrance of the veil.

The other thing that is starting to worry me is how impossible it would be to run a school where some of the staff are effectively refusing to work with some others. Whoever line manages Ms Azmi will have to deploy other staff so that any male teachers in the school don't come into contact with her while she is working unveiled. In most small schools there just isn't that much flexibility.

So I think, overall, I am becoming fixed in my views, and less and less sympathetic to the case... which is slightly worrying. Because behind all this remains a nagging worry that the press is happily exploiting the more strident voices within Islam; because it is a very juicy story - dissent in the classroom, alienation within a primary school, radical Islam, children, the mystery of the veil.... Should we be pleased or distressed watching a woman in a veil getting a public drubbing by a pompous middle aged white guy?

Aishah Azmi defends herself - the niqab debate continued

2006-10-14T11:29:00.000+01:00

The plot thickens. Both the mystery of what actually went on in Headfield Church of England Junior School; and the question of whether the school and Ms Azmi herself are being used to keep the Jack Straw story on the boil. I woke to the Radio 4 news this morning and her version (of the events that I blogged yesterday) was first item in the news bulletin. However, the BBC News website's reporting of the updated story mingles it - unhelpfully - with London Mayor Ken Livingstone's thoughts on the matter, along with a generic picture of a mysterious looking woman wearing a niqab.

The only other report I can find is in the The Mirror , who report that she was promised by the school that she would only have to work unveiled with women; they also report her as having said that

"It's not true that there had been complaints. The kids are mostly Muslim anyway and most of their mothers wear the veil anyway so they would never, ever have a problem."

and that she felt

"...I was under a lot of pressure to take it off or resign. No alternative was offered. I was told disciplinary action was inevitable."

The niqab debate reaches education

2006-10-13T17:36:00.000+01:00

In Dewsbury today, a primary school teaching assistant was suspended because she insisted on covering her face with a veil while working with kids and they could not understand her. Wierd timing. Or is it the case that this kind of workplace disagreement is only headline news when it fuels an ongoing head-line grabbing debate involving religion, gender, sex, power and politics?

I think that the school was right to ask her to remove the veil while she worked with the kids, and if she felt she could not do this, she should have not been given the job in the first place. The school appears to support her wearing the veil outside the classroom, only asking her to remove it when working one to one with the children.

I am personally quite torn on the issue of the niqab, and indeed on the hijab. I teach many young Muslim women from different ethnic backgrounds, and practice varies widely. In my younger days I took very seriously certain religious imperatives of my own faith and can understand young people seeking to make a stand on their beliefs as they grown into adulthood. On the other hand, I am completely unimpressed by what I understand to be the theological basis of the requirement for women to cover their hair and bodies.

So I am stuck. I respect their personal faith and their commitment, I respect Islam, but I don't respect the specific tenets of the faith that require this particular obedience from them. In a similar way I reject certain actions carried out in the name of my own faith while understanding my co-religionists' desire to seek God and to serve him faithfully in the world.

Ah me.

Radio 4 radio clip on the theological basis of hijab - only available until 16th October

The science curriculum debate III

2006-10-13T17:32:00.000+01:00

And here's a very radical article from Simon Jenkins. Wouldn't go this far myself but he makes some very good points.

BTW, it's not that I only read the Guardian, but the Independent does not have an RSS feed...

The science curriculum debate II

2006-10-12T20:34:00.000+01:00

After yesterday's fretting, this has made me laugh.

The science curriculum debate

2006-10-11T19:05:00.000+01:00

When I was training as a science teacher, the National Curriculum was billed as the solution to the shortage of scientists and engineers in the UK. By making 'Double Science' (i.e. two GCSE's worth of combined science) compulsory for all kids at GCSE, the government hoped more students would fall in love with science and go on to study it at University.

Instead, schools wrestled with the reality of teaching all students - all students - huge great wodges of science. Hell has fewer miseries more grim than a set five science group you see for 20% of their timetabled time. As other options emerged (downgrading to single science - 1 GCSE of combined science - switching to GNVQ or similar) schools with a high proportion of this type of student grabbed them.

At the other end of the spectrum, many students found that their options to study science in the future were severely limited. Potential future scientists were frustrated, as schools could not easily offer them the 'three sciences' option alongside the compulsory Double Award. By insisting that everyone did some science, less and less students were able to prepare for the rigours of A-level. Students who were somewhere between the extremes - unable, at the tender age of 14, to know if they would blossom into academic success or leave school early, were usually shifted into whichever solution offered the best 'headline results'. This was all the more galling, because this was why we got rid of grammar schools - to allow students longer to grow into academic success, keeping their options open, most especially those who did not have parents acting as pro-education cheerleaders on the sidelines.

So the powers-that-be put their heads together once more, to try and work out a solution which gives all students what they need to survive in a technological society, while at the same time inspiring and equipping future scientists. The result was the science reforms that have been rolled out this Autumn, including 'Science for the 21st century', a GSCE which aims to provide scientific literacy. [A briefing from the Association for Science Education here]

In a telling quote from the BBC

...pupils who take up 21st Century science are unlikely to be those who plan to take science at A-level and then university.

Today, Sir Richard Sykes, Rector of Imperial College and member of the Institute of Ideas, has criticised the new GCSE science qualification because they will lock students out of future university courses.

I am in such anguish. I have not taught GCSE science for many years, but I have long thought that the UK education system needs something like a 'science for life' course. Forcing all 15 year olds to study physics is just wrong. And I love physics. I really enjoyed teaching science and think that everyone needs to be scientifically literate in order for society to survive.

At the same time, I also know that students who do not have a good GCSE foundation struggle hopelessly at A-level. They need to have had strong teaching, traditional-style courses and the curriculum time to study all three sciences, or at least two to sufficient depth.

So, I'm with OCR, who summed it up thus,

"GCSE qualifications in the sciences are required to meet two quite different needs: firstly, to prepare all students for life in the 21st century, in which science is a part of everyday experience, and secondly to prepare future scientists for their studies at A-level and beyond."

Why can't we do both? Why can't there be flexibility, options, choice, risk? I'll tell you why not. League tables.

Children lose out when they are not given the option to take courses that they are less likely to pass. Schools can't afford the risk of entering students for challenging subjects. Far better to put them in for the courses that will maximise their 'success'. Because the bottom line is the league table pass rate. At all costs we must service the pass rate. So the question becomes 'What science options can we afford to offer in our school? Which will guarantee a better bottom line statistic? Which is safest?' In this context, schools will continue to offer whatever courses best service the pass rate.

The 21st century science course is for 'students unlikely to take science at University'. How many schools will take that decision for all their pupils at the age of 14 simply because it is too costly for them, in terms of the league tables, to do otherwise?

I've been feeling sick about this all day. I have arrived at the desperately depressing conclusion that there is no reform in current education that can ever work while schools are held up to public judgement and competition using highly simplified statistics alone. The forces acting on schools today distort and corrupt the education of children. They are evil.

More information from the BBC here, and see the Guardian here, and all about the Insitute of Ideas here.

Warning! Facts may appear even more true when animated on a Mac

2006-10-10T23:09:00.000+01:00

How's this for a fantastic Newsnight-style video version of the facts about hardness?

With huge thanks to M.

It's now official. Physics is hard.

2006-10-10T22:13:00.000+01:00

Here is the pictorial proof. In the manner of all contemporary educational statistics I have taken fleeting whimsy and turned it into FACT.

I assumed people would rank the subjects they found easiest as objectively the easiest. This may be a false assumption. I know M has been honest in saying that programming is easy (look at his blog and guess his profession) but for all we know, some of you others could be physicists who enjoy the cachet...

Maybe we need to consider what standards we expect of people. There are dozens of rubbish drivers, rubbish actors and (according to my psychology colleagues) rubbish psychologists (most, apparently, writing for women's magazines or presenting reality TV shows.) However, we don't find ourselves whinging about the generally poor quality of historians or physicists in Britain today. Only the good get on, and mostly they keep themselves to themselves and only bother us to present Channel 4 series. However, one commentator argues conversely that rubbish physicists are still pretty useful, which is one of the ways we know it's hard, in comparison with rubbish actors, who are good for nothing...

Is physics objectively hard? Is acting objectively easy? Or do more people find physics hard and more people find acting easy?

My own personal experience is this.

Easiest of all is physics. (Although I did wimp out of physics after my first year at university.) Conceptually, theoretical physics is simply maths in action, and I find maths straightforward, given time and a clear head.

Then I would say programming. Only done a bit. But given time and resources, programming is a logical pseudo-mathematic process. Can't claim to be able to program with a haunting elegance, but I can usually get there in the end.

Next psychology and history, tied. I haven't studied psychology, but I have studied the sociology of the life sciences, and history of science. Harder than physics and programming because there's no end point, no answer, just an endless quest for meanings and connections. Also, a lot of language based understanding. But I find reading as easy as maths so that's OK.

The second hardest thing I've ever done is learn to drive. Took me four different instructors and 17 years.

And the hardest thing I have ever done is learn improvisational drama with a bunch of professional drama teachers. It's the only time I have ever considered physically running away from a learning situation. That's a whole other story.

PS If you have followed my blog for a while and remember my post on Jan Srameck, please check out his reply below.

A reply from Jan Srameck

2006-10-08T12:20:00.000+01:00

Amazingly, I've just received a comment on an earlier post about Jan Srameck, the young man who got A grades in 10 A-levels this summer, now studying economics at Cambridge. I reprint the reply, which I assume is from Jan himself, in full below

Having been alerted to this by a friend of mine, I think that I need to correct a few things which have been said, and to provide some explanations.

1) "Then we add economics, business studies and 'economics and business studies combined' - surely a blatant case of sitting exams for the sake of it? The amount of overlapping content must have been laughable."

not that you could have known this, but my school only taught E&B combined and that's the course I studied for the full 2 years..sitting the additional Economics/Business as separate A-levels was, in fact, partially a bet with several friends, partially a preparation for the AEA papers (formerly S-levels) in Economics and Business, which, being separate papers, would probably be even more difficult having studied the joint course only.

therefore, your argument is in fact wrong, as doing those 2 enabled me to do the more advanced stuff, in favour of which you argued later on

2) "ICT is a huge amount of work, but maybe not a significant challenge for him, especially if Jan is a hobbiest computer fan - which he may well be, with his strong flair for maths."

yes, it's a huge amount of work. there is no A-level which would be a significant challenge for a student with a broad range of talents, with the possible exception of art/music for those who don't have a particular flair for them..I hated my ICT A-level, but it's been a very good exercise in motivation to keep it, do the appalling coursework and learn for those pointless exams - and that's why I did..by the time I found out that it wasn't a very good course, the only other option would have been to drop it - and I hate loosing.

3) "Then German - he's from the Czech Republic - can we assume a head start?"

any linguist will tell you that English and German are much closer than Czech and German, being from a completely different language families..if you assumed that I'd speak German because of geographical location, I can assure you that my family lives in the opposite part of the country, close to Slovakia/Poland rather than Germany.

in fact, prior to my AS-level course I had studied it for less than 2 years for 3 lessons a week, and my German was, honestly, the worst in my class when we started..coupled with the fact that my English was far from fluent when I arrived (not a surprise given that I had not even visited an English speaking country before then), being taught German in English in such circumstances was..a wonderful experience (my German teachers: you rock)

4) The school had nothing to do with this. Yes, my teachers were great in supporting me, but they were very far from pushing me to do this - in fact, the opposite was occasionally the case. History, as well as Politics, at A-level are equally difficult or academically stretching as most of the other A-levels. Jumping through the loops all the way, reading one or two mark schemes the day before the exam, and if you have a flair for the subject, high UMS shouldn't be a problem.

5) On a final point, I came to the UK knowing very little about the system and at the time decided to do Maths, Physics, German, E&B, ICT. Since everyone does GS, so did I. In Y13, I picked up FM as an obvious choice and that seemed to be the final combination. Doing AFM was purely because of my interest in Mathematics and this decision was actually made sometime in March/April, i.e. 2 months before those exams. The decision to take Economics and Business separately was made even later, partially because of my curiosity about stretching myself in terms of exams, partially as a preparation for the AEA papers.

I'm not sure whether I'd make the same choices if I were to re-live that year again, and I'm not sure whether it was the best use of my time either. It was, however, definitely worth it and a very valuable experience indeed; more and above, with 100% certainly, I used my time more wisely than a great majority of other students. It's fair to express your opinion, but belittling what I've done without knowing anything about me and other like-minded people who've done similar things in the past, is very far from being fair play.

JS

Jan's results are an interesting case study in the A-level debate. When I posted, I was not out to get at him personally. To start at the end, I am really sorry Jan feels belittled by my post. I hoped in my posts around A-level results time to raise some questions but did not mean to ridicule, so I apologise to Jan if he feels my comments were unfair to him.

However, he must be aware that his unusual experience raises questions. Is this all we can offer the brightest and the best of our sixteen and seventeen year olds - racking up a large number of related A-levels? My main perspective in writing the original post was to question the approach of the education system in dealing with exceptionally bright teenagers, and his reply really does contribute to this. For him, the challenge of A-levels seems to be one of burdensome work for work's sake, rather than an intellectually stimulating experience (apart from his German lessons!) In addition, he believes that most exams can be done by jumping through the loops all the way, reading one or two mark schemes the day before the exam. This is a very telling statement. In the current climate of criticism of the A-level system, it is up to teachers to think seriously about the guidance we give the gifted student.

A few specific points raised in his post:
- Obviously I was completely wrong in my assumption that Jan already spoke German.
- I know all about the demands of ICT A-level - and I am not surprised he hated sweating through 'the appalling coursework', and found himself having to exercise steely self-discipline in order to complete something onerous and not very exciting. To anyone else in a similar situation, I suggest you study Computing instead. You will find this more conceptually challenging and certainly more invigorating. (Oh, and why not drop ICT, or indeed any subject that turns out to be a mistake, after completing the AS? That's not an admission of defeat!)
- The triple combination of Economics, Business Studies, and Combined Economics and Business Studies is an official forbidden combination, sorry. I suppose this does not really matter to Jan as he did the extra two subjects simply as a bet and had plenty of other subjects under his belt. I can see that Jan was limited in his choices by the curriculum of the school, and that if he was sitting the AEAs in Economics and Business, it would be necessary to cover the extra content, so he might as well sit the A-level papers. In fact, doing the AEAs in Economics and Business seems a very worthwhile achievement and one that did not come out in the newspapers.
- However, I am not sure what Jan's argument against History and Politics is. I honestly think that there's more to it than read[ing] through one or two mark schemes before the exam. Even the very bright need to read in depth to score the highest UMS marks in History. I stand by my suggestion that to tackle either of these subjects (or indeed English Literature) is good advice for any student hoping to study at a Russell Group University.

In general, gifted students are always limited by the curriculum offered by their particular school. However, if the school is not able to stretch them, there are other options available. One is to study with the Open University while still at school. The OU now offers a wide variety of modules to sixth formers, who can be funded and supported through the Young Applicants in Schools Scheme.

I am very appreciative that Jan took the time to reply to my blog. My conviction that he is both brilliant and hardworking remain unchanged. I really do wish him well, congratulate him on his success, and I am quite sure his teachers at Bootham do, too. I know he will find Cambridge both a challenge and a delight, and a very different experience to A-levels.

But I will return to the main point of my original post. How do we advise exceptional students in the current A-level system? Do as many A-levels as you can?

After considering Jan's post, if I had a similarly motivated and talented young person in front of me, I would advise them thus. Do 'less, but better'; seek out challenging and appropriate subjects; look for extra-curricular opportunities that enhance your skills and allow you to diversify, and take the time to read widely both within and around your subject.

OK, now they get to do coursework supervised

2006-09-27T21:48:00.000+01:00

Maths coursework is to be axed. And all other coursework will be done in supervised conditions. I suppose I should be happy. As an educationalist, I'm reasonably happy. But as a human being with a partner and a life, I am just washed with a tremendous sense of weariness and dread. The exam results will not be allowed to dip - the great statistical God will demand that we find ways of keeping the grades just as high when the stays are tightened on coursework. It will be us who have to work harder, devise more and more ingenious ways of ensuring our students succeed.

I know I haven't commented on the survey... I'm building up to it. And waiting for a few more of you to comment. Although I'm in education, so I should probably take the small smattering of data and turn it into a league table.

PS Blogger's spell checker suggests corkscrews for coursework. The Internet is positively urging me to have a glass of wine...

Vote now - what is the most difficult thing to do?

2006-09-10T12:42:00.000+01:00

On a blog as tiny as this, two negative comments on one posting counts as a storm of protest. In addition, I've been getting it in the neck from him indoors for saying that Drama A-level isn't good preparation for English at Cambridge.

As a result, I've been forced to think some more about the issues raised in Boris Johnson's 'Physics not Media Studies' article, and realised that my writing and thinking were rather sloppy. (See below for links to the original posts)

There are three different issues involved in the 'crunchy A-level' debate (and none is actually the real issue.)
1) Are some subjects inherently harder?
2) Are some A-levels inherently harder (by virtue of amount of content covered, style of assessment etc.)?
3) Are some subjects better preparation for a degree at Cambridge University, or better discriminators of a particular aptitude?

My casual adoption of Boris Johnson's label 'crunchy' has not helped at all - I wanted it to mean 3) as distinct from 1), while skipping neatly over the issue of 2). However, I don't think I've even managed to be consistent on that.

As I muse further on these issues, it occurs to me I could do a poll among my huge readership. So...

Please rank these six 'subjects' in order of difficulty . Note, this refers to the subject itself, not the A-level, GCSE or similar. Go on, vote. You can dicker about the terms of the debate at the end if you want...

Which is most difficult?
1) Theoretical physics
2) Acting
3) History
4) Psychology
5) Driving a car
6) Programming a computer

Crunchy posts so far:
The crunchy and the smooth
Crunchier and crunchier

If...

2006-09-09T12:10:00.000+01:00

Please skip on over to Mr Chalk and read his version of Rudyard Kipling's 'If'

My literacy diagnostic assessment

2006-09-09T11:35:00.000+01:00

I had to do a literacy test yesterday to practice using the software for my new tutor group next week. The only real way to prepare to deliver something using software is to pretend you are a student and try it out; however, becoming childishly obsessed with getting all the answers right is optional. After working my way pendantically through a level 2 literacy test, I was horrified to find that had not scored full marks (even after I cheated by asking the Head of Modern Languages what a passive verb was.) Apparantly, I 'need to work on use of appropriate language'.

F***ing stupid computer program.

What every school really needs ....biometrics

2006-09-07T22:09:00.000+01:00

London School to fingerprint students

Is this to save time, because getting 32 children to press a fingerprint scanner is quicker than calling out their names? Or is it to stamp out the wide practice of register fraud, when children pretend to be each other? When the technology instantly notifies a harrassed head of year or secretary that Johnny has gone AWOL in the corridor between French and Maths, will that member of staff be able to leap instantly to her feet to track him down? Or is it another case of measuring something ever more accurately in an attempt to hide the fact that you have no actual sanctions to deal with it?

And apparantly schools can fingerprint children without parental consent Children can give informed consent. Teaching the Data Protection Act, traditionally the low point in any ICT class, has never been more important.

Gay computers

2006-09-05T23:02:00.000+01:00

Went wandering on the Interweb last night and found a new teacher's blog for your consideration; Tales from the Chalkface. Vinni had a link to this flurry about the use of the term gay from back in June (about the time I lost the third member of my department to ill-health and gave up sleeping as well as blogging.) His writing on the subject is very amusing.

Personally, I am in a time of transition on this issue. Much as my tolerance for pimp chic is sadly growing by the year, I regrettably no longer pursue the 'gay computer' issue with as much passion... which is sad because I think it's completely obvious that the word 'gay' (as in the sentence 'Miss, this computer is gay') means 'crap' only because there are people in our society who think that gay people are crap. It's disingenuous to say 'the word has changed it's meaning'.

If kids took to saying 'This computer's really Muslim' we wouldn't be having any of it. It's grim to note, however, how both genders play fast and loose with each other's genitals when insulting people; that battle is lost forever. (Er, please read that sentence carefully.)

As with all these things, it comes back to the effort required to take a 'zero tolerance' approach to things like this. Teachers have to pick their fights and save their precious ammunition.

Not to be confused with...

2006-09-05T22:38:00.000+01:00

...the more famous blogger Mr Chalk, who yesterday saw his book 'It's your time you're wasting' hit the shelves. I've not linked to Amazon as I'm sure he'd much rather you clicked on the above link and bought it via him.

I'm hoping I can glean some new readers accidently by people Googling the book name wrongly, and finding me instead...

Good luck, Mr C and congratulations!

Arrange the desks in a U shape! and other great ideas

2006-09-05T22:08:00.000+01:00

Two links sent to me that juxtapose rather nicely and could make the basis for quite a nice discussion on 'the benefits and limitations of ICT in education' (A-level ICT teachers out there, don't say I don't look after you)

'Technology spices up learning for Net generation'from Mac News World.

'Saying No to School Laptops' from the Wall Street Times

I don't really agree with the logic that says, Hey! Kids like iPods! Let's give them educational podcasts, that will make them interested in learning! Hey! Kids like TV, but that doesn't mean they choose documentaries over soaps. Lots also like books, but that doesn't mean they choose Lett's Revise Science over Harry Potter. And kids love the Internet, but as I am tired of explaining to aspiring ICT students, 'It's not an A-level in soft porn and gaming, you know.'

My name is Pepperpot and I am not a spammer

2006-09-02T19:14:00.000+01:00

Oh, the humiliation.

It must be pretty obvious to you all that M (author of Musings on a Mac) and I converse pretty frequently. It was he who led me to the notorious Boris 'crunchy' Johnson article, and who encouraged me to post to Boris's website while we were online chatting to each other. I had to be persuaded to do this, being a shy flower, and didn't realise that in the course of our conversation he, too, had posted to the site. Result - two consecutive links to my post. Anyway, we have been accused of spamming and I am so humiliated I cannot look my monitor in the face.

All I can say to Raincoaster and the other readers is I am very sorry and it was a genuine mistake. Raincoaster, please accept my offering of Google juice as an act of contrition.

Crunchier and crunchier

2006-09-02T16:49:00.000+01:00

The story so far...
New Cambridge University A-level subject guidelines have been published, including a list of A-level subjects that it says 'provide a less effective preparation for our courses.' I first heard about it on Tuesday, which was the day I returned to work to start enrolling new students onto advanced courses for next year. M's comment on a provious post of mine led me to Boris Johnson's thoughts on the matter (I would not normally have wandered there myself) and the bewitching monicker 'crunchy' for the subjects that Cambridge refers to as traditional academic subjects.

By Friday this week I had taken part in many conversations about crunchy subjects as we carried out the usual painstaking task of helping students choose their next step. As usual, there are the students who have completely unrealistic goals; their schools may have encouraged them to aim for the top - and I don't blame them - but it's heart-breaking to have to say to a 16 year old with 5 C grades and 4 D grades, the result of much hard work, that their chances of studying medicine are slim to none. On the other hand, there is the equally difficult task of advising very bright young people, who have come from families with no knowledge or experience of higher education; while they might not be open to the idea now, in twelve months time we might be encouraging them to apply for Cambridge. (It takes that long to grow their faith in themselves and to work through the many stereotypes that they - and their parents - might hold.) We have always advised students in this position to make sure that they include some traditional, essay based subjects, even if they want a more practical or creative focus. So the Cambridge list is nothing new.

This article in the Guardian by historian Francis Beckett made me think further. I am inclined to agree with this:

Parks claims that, far from being elitist, this is an effort towards getting students from poorer backgrounds and tough inner-city schools to Cambridge. "It's not academic snobbery at all," he says. "We want those who might wish to come here to avoid ruling themselves out by taking inappropriate subjects at A-level." Much better to spell it out on the website, where anyone can see it, than keep it as a bit of insider knowledge, known and understood at St Posh's Academy for the Gentry, but never heard about at East Grunge comprehensive.

Far better to be blunt about it, rather than rely on whatever process Oxford claims to use.

Oxford seems also to have given up on the idea that A-levels can be the fine-tuning mechanism that will infallibly select the brainiest of every generation. "We have developed our own ways of discriminating," says the spokeswoman.

I disagree, however, with some of the specific criticisms in the website:

The English department insists, understandably, on English literature, recommends languages and history, and has encouraging words to say about maths and science. And then it adds: "Although drama or theatre studies may possibly be accepted as a third A-level subject, colleges tend to prefer applicants to show more range in their skills and interests." Drama and theatre studies are, of course, among the discouraged A-levels. Parks's explanation is that a performance-based A-level is not good preparation for a Cambridge literature degree.

What's wrong with that? Studying English literature at one of the oldest Universities in Britain is a million miles from Drama A-level. And I'm not denigrating Drama A-level at all; it's very rigorous and extraordinarily hard work. However, I would cautiously suggest that drama and English literature are very different areas of academic study. More significantly, to say that Drama A-level is not an effective preparation for English at Cambridge tells us much about the nature of the English department there, the scopeand limitations of the course, and the emphases and approaches that define the discipline there. Just because Oxford and Cambridge have such high status it does not make them the best choice for every gifted student.

Accountancy is another subject on the list; Beckett questions this, too. 'So a mathematician does not use the skills learned in accountancy?'
Er, no. I wouldn't say that accountancy did teach you any specific mathematical skills you wouldn't gain from Maths and Further Maths A-levels. It will teach you lots about applying mathematical methods to the world of money. Accountants use mathematical skills, not the other way around.

I'm glad that the list is controversial. A-levels should be constantly scrutinised and we should expect to wrestle with how we can offer new disciplines alongside old-fashioned favourites.

And anything that uncloaks the mystery of applying to Oxbridge is a good thing, especially when such myths abound. (A fifty-something NQT I once worked with had to be taken to task for telling the students 'not to bother applying to Cambridge unless you have a family member who went there' - and this was in a school with a steady flow of successful applicants!) It's really good to think that a student in a school with no tradition of helping their students to apply for Oxbridge can get access to solid advice; we will just have to grit out teach if it makes us feel a bit squeamish. I desperately want more students from the state system to go to Cambridge Therefore it's vitally important that the university figures out ways of picking out the students who genuinely have the greatest talents in those traditional academic subjects in which the University specialises. It's so hard to distinguish this type of student in a field where every institution is grimly focused on exam sucess above all else, producing phalanxes of students groomed to within an inch of their lives in exam technique and the complex tactics needed to suceed in the modern A-level. By being honest, I think Cambridge have been very brave, and should be commended.

The crunchy and the smooth

2006-08-29T17:08:00.000+01:00

I'm sure there's a specific blogging way to do this, but I don't know it. This post has come about because of a site posted in M's comment on my previous post... The link is Boris Johnson on Physics A-level. Boris, who according to They Work for You , asks most of his questions in Parliament about Capita, Capita Group, Community Hospitals, Swill Feeding and Swill studied at Eton and Oxford and to my great surprise seems to have been quite a scholar. (It obviously takes a lot of brains to play the fool.) He writes here about this list of subjects , published by Cambridge University (towards the bottom, under course requirements.) Cambridge Admissions Tutors will only give offers to students who have two A-levels in subjects not on this list. They must, instead, be what Boris calls 'crunchy' subjects.

Two things to note...

Firstly, Psychology and Sociology - all derided from time to time by commentators - are crunchy!

Secondly, the majority of the 'smooth' subjects (i.e. on the Not Suitable For Cambridge list) have practical elements which require significant skill; just not skills that are relevant for the range of traditional courses offered at Cambridge. For example, Media Studies, which includes film-making, Drama which includes acting, Dance and Photography... These are not 'easier' per se, they are different.

Personally, the hardest learning experience of my life was participating in a Drama workshop as an adult. Drama A-level would be a huge struggle for me. I doubt I could get one of those 'easy' A's. (I have a full measure of pre Curriculum 2000 crunchy A-levels; and I live with a Drama teacher so I know what the subject entails) The lowest exam mark I ever got was for Art, in which I was examined for the first (and last) time aged fourteen. It was an utterly humiliating experience for me - I was a straight A student up till then.

Sure, physics ain't a pushover. And we definitely need more physicists and chemists applying to university - that's a whole different issue. But as I say to students when they say 'which A-levels are easiest?' - it depends on what you find easy.

Actually, I think Cambridge have phrased it rather well.

The list below details the A level subjects that provide a less effective preparation for our courses. To be a realistic applicant, a student will normally need to be offering two traditional academic subjects

They are reflecting the fact that they offer only traditional, academic courses at a world class standard delivered in a conventional way. In order to realistically study those courses, a particular set of gifts is needed, evidenced by a particular set of results. That's not a scandal.

The scandal, as Boris has identified, is that 'we live in a mad world of league tables' and this culture has distorted schools' advice to students and the curriculum options made available.

There's nothing wrong with saying that subjects are different. But as I commented in my post on Jan Sramek, we all have subjects we find easier and subjects that present a significant challenge (in Jan's case, why did he accumulate 10 A-levels rather than stretching himself by taking fewer and including some literary or essay subjects instead?) Let's not fall into the easy labeling of 'hard' and 'easy', 'crunchy' and 'smooth' and join in the eternal denigration of some subjects.

I interviewed a young woman today for admission to a post-sixteen course who had low grades in some crunchy subjects at GCSE, but an A* in Textiles and another in Art. She is obviously very talented indeed in ways I can't imagine. I hope we can put her onto a course where she will flourish, be challenged, and be able to access the top universities or institutions in her field. Which will not be Oxford or Cambridge. But that's fine because she wants to be a fashion designer. Not a journalist and Tory politician...

Back to school

2006-08-28T22:46:00.000+01:00

I'm back tommorrow. Kid's Health has provided me with some soothing advice for coping with my general depression about this. I am going to try and get a good night's sleep, I have already packed my bag and I am going to wear a great t-shirt that I got on vacation.

Good luck to everyone else as you face The Return. Eyes down till Christmas.

Decline in A-level computing

2006-08-20T13:39:00.000+01:00

My parents have recently become readers (of IYTYWNM. They haven't just achieved literacy...) and rang me this morning to tell me about an article in The Independent (who said that old and new media can't work together?) Nestling in one of the articles in the online education section is this bombshell...

The biggest decrease in [A-level] candidates came in computing - down 13.9 per cent.

What? Why? I have been expecting a demise of ICT as a subject at A-level and in schools, but I thought that computing was here to stay. The only thing I can think of is that there has been a corresponding rise in the status of, and number of students on, post-16 vocational computing courses. This would not be a disaster as many of the hardcore vocational courses (such as the BTEC National Diploma for IT Practitioners) are very rigourous. However, if schools are phasing out Computing in favour of more insipid courses such as Applied ICT, I am concerned. The more modern ICT post-sixteen qualifications vere towards graphics and web design, but do not include the artistic theory content of a graphics course. However, they are easier to market. (The same is true of the new Level 3 DiDa qualification, which removes a lot of the spreadsheet and database content in favour of web editing.)

Another thought may be that gifted future programmers might choose to take Maths, Further Maths and Physics, deciding that they could easily teach themselves to program at the weekend.

On the other hand, they may all have decided to become TV presenters instead. Or 'software developers and models', like Big Brother's Mikey.

When you wander into the blogsphere...

2006-08-20T12:51:00.000+01:00

...you always come back with souveniers

Because ultimately, society has to decide – very abstract phrase, I know – whether they want to equip its next-generation leaders with a bunch of facts, or with the tools and mental models which allow them to tease problems out.

An excellent post from Receding Hairline which is the very readable blog of Christopher Phin, an IT journalist living in London.

'The street finds it's own use for things'

2006-08-19T20:22:00.000+01:00

Remember those high pitched teenager repelling noise devices on the news sixth months ago?

I'm probably behind the times, but the repelled teenagers have bitten back.

http://easyfreeringtones.com/2w56knmwm/

Driving up standards (another A-level ouroboros)

2006-08-18T23:01:00.000+01:00

I meant to post a summary of the A-level results reporting, however I got distracted by my previous post. However, now I have found this :

But exam chiefs insist standards are being maintained. They talk of "driving failure out of the system" - and are predicting a 100% pass rate within a few years.

(BBC news)

This is causing an outcry - and it's obvious why - as most people instinctively feel if it is 'impossible to fail', the result is meaningless. However, we must not confuse the factors which are internal to the exam boards and the factors which come from schools and colleges.

Here is an anecdote - it didn't happen to me, it happened to a teacher friend. She had an OFSTED observation of a post-sixteen lesson which was severely disrupted by a young man faking illness. Obviously, the quality of teaching and learning was affected as my friend had to stop what she was doing so she could deal with the 'crisis.' However, the observer criticised her and penalised the lesson. My friend argued that she had dealt with it well, minimised disruption and made the most of it. The observer's judgement was that any student who misbehaved in a post-sixteen context was obviously on the wrong course. This was a failure of the institution in signing him up for the subject that he was not motivated to study. Therefore it was a justifiable criticism of the lesson.

Anecdotes are not data. However, I think anyone in education will agree that in the current climate we are constantly called to account for student 'failure' - did we teach them badly, did we give them enough support, were they on the right course etc. etc. This comes from the management of schools and colleges, but they are simply reflecting the agenda set by OFSTED etc. The implication is that we should strive towards a situation where we can absolutely guarantee a successful outcome for all students. The student is not really seen to be an active part of the process.

Ergo, we are tacitly being encouraged to aim for a situation where no child fails. We should take no risks, expect no miracles, make no demands from our students for which we cannot act as guarantors. If a child is going to fail, we should be able to work this out in advance. Young people will only be on courses they can pass, because if they don't pass they were on the wrong course...

Ouroboros...

The awful fallout from this trend scarcely needs spelling out but I'm going to (very blogpompous.) If students are only in situations where they will pass, then it must mean they will pass even if they are dis-engaged from the learning process. This is effectively the death of the educational process. Because if we can contrive that they can get by without us taking any risks on them, we will. And so farewell to the risk-taking ethos of widening participation and raising aspiration which is so important for students from backgrounds where no-one has gone on to further or higher education.

10 A's

2006-08-18T17:24:00.000+01:00

Well, is it me or is the slavering furore a bit dulled this year? In the light of the situation in the Lebanon and the ongoing terrorism alert here in the UK, there hasn't been nearly as much A-level related brouhaha in the news as we have come to expect. However, the odd thing has jumped out at me. The Guardian has a jovial round up - many congratulations to the triplets, the Big Brother finalist, the grandmother and to the amazing Jan Sramek who gained 10 grade A's. It's Jan's story that has got me in a bit of a slather. Well done to him, he's obviously a brilliant and hard working person and I wish him the very best at Cambridge. But to be critical, as someone who will sit down in a fortnight and counsel dozens of young people enrolling on A-level courses, I think this story raises the question of whether accumulating all those subjects was a wise use of his time. Look at the subjects...

He gained A grades in maths, further maths, additional further maths, economics, business, German, physics, ICT, economics and business studies combined and general studies

So that's 3 maths subjects plus physics - so obviously a very bright young man. If someone is mathematically gifted it has always been possible (and beneficial) to do extra maths subjects with significantly less burden than, say, doing an extra humanities subject with its additional reading burden. So not really a scandal there.

Then we add economics, business studies and 'economics and business studies combined' - surely a blatant case of sitting exams for the sake of it? The amount of overlapping content must have been laughable. I think it's actually a forbidden combination. (see page 13 of this specification which is the one that Bootham School do)

ICT is a huge amount of work, but maybe not a significant challenge for him, especially if Jan is a hobbiest computer fan - which he may well be, with his strong flair for maths.

Then German - he's from the Czech Republic - can we assume a head start?

And finally General Studies.

My question is this - what on earth were the school thinking of? This young man is obviously very gifted indeed. Surely it would have been better to do far fewer A-levels and then look to other ways of filling his time and stretching him academically. I've put gifted students in for OU modules before now. Or maybe he could have been advised to study less subjects but ones that stretched him and took him beyond an obvious flair for maths and economics. What about Politics or History? Both are key areas of understanding for a future economist - both require a different skill set to the mathematical based subjects. Maybe his spare time would have been better used in extra-curricular activities. Did he initiate this frenzy of A-level grabbing or did his school?

Jan said: "Although I was more attracted by the challenge of taking so many exams in a short period of time than the results themselves, I am, of course, delighted."

Hum.

(P.S. To non A-level hacks, don't be confused by stories like this. The 'nine A's' refer to the papers, not to the A-levels.)

The day of reckoning

2006-08-17T11:26:00.000+01:00

Well, congratulations to my students for getting a really good crop of results. I am delighted and relieved that the grades you got largely reflected your skills and efforts and I am very happy for you all. Not just those of you who got A's but you guys and girls who arrived with borderline GCSE grades and who worked your socks off for two years to turn that into E's, D's and C's. While doing part-time jobs, looking after siblings, and in many cases fulfilling your responsibilities to your family business or even looking after sick parents. You're great. Some of you are amazing young men and women and I am very impressed with you.

[sarcasm] Due to the phenomenon of grade deflation, you of course need realise that your grades are worth fractionally less than they would have done if you had sat the exam last year. As the overall pass rate went up by 1.3%, obviously any exam was 1.3% easier than it was last year. Just remember that. If you are tempted to forget it, just listen to the news. [/sarcasm]

The A-levels taken today are not the same as the exams I took as an 18 year old. We have completely changed and re-defined A-levels and you cannot compare like with like. But why does this translate into such depressingly predictable bitterness? And why are there not more intelligent analyses of the facts?

My A-levels (in 1988) were done over two years with no exams until the last term of the upper sixth. I think I did two papers for each subject plus practicals. A modern A-level is done over two years and each consists of six papers, the first of which will often be sat at the end of the first term. Any of the papers can be re-taken as many times as necessary. In the first year, most students now sit four subjects in the time they would traditionally have taken three so obviously there must be less content included. It's not the same. Please get over it.

The critics seem to divide into different groups... there are the ones who lament the day when 'an A-grade meant something', who seem to resent the fact that the achievements of their children are not as exclusive as they want them to be. Hum. Well, maybe if the A grade was harder to get, your children would have got B's and C's. Maybe you could console yourself by correcting your child whenever s/he claims to have got four A grades.

Then there are the ones who lament the continual rise of standards, witnessed by the statistics. We can't deny the numbers. Perhaps they should look a bit deeper into the whole phenomenon of the statistical engine that drives modern education. Schools and colleges are forced to focus more and more on the headline statistics produced and so most of the effort in an institution revolves around improving these numbers (including the pass rates and the 'higher grade' rates.) Exam preparation, choice of exam boards, timing of modules, teaching methodology, advice to students on subject choices - all are influenced by the need to work the numbers. So the year-on-year rise in numbers is no surprise. It seems the pass rate is stabilising, as exhausted teachers finally reach a point where they have done everything they can in the service of the numbers and it is solely down to whether the pupils step up and do the work or not.

Finally, there are the complaints from universities that they cannot differentiate between the best students. Here I am very sympathetic. One factor there is that most universities can no longer afford to interview candidates, which is not mentioned but certainly closes off a whole way of assessing students' suitability, passion, commitment, thinking skills and depth of knowledge. Something should be done - certainly, universities should see module results and the number of times students have re-sat a paper. The greater use of additional entrance exams is also a possibility - or maybe universities should actually be allowed to read scripts. I write this with a heavy heart, because this will inevitably translate into more work for me. It won't be long before the machine finds a way of measuring this, another statistic which I will need to address ('Hum, your A grade rate is stable, but the number of students getting into top universities from your subject area is still low. What are you going to do about it?')

Anyway, I'm off to college now to see my students. I am hugely proud of them and they deserve a day of rejoicing.

Back from the beyond

2006-08-16T11:42:00.000+01:00

Well, I apologise for my absence. I can bring a note from my Mum so it's OK.

This particular week for me is spent, as usual, in a state of insomnia waiting for A-level results to come through. I am more worried than usual as it is a truth universally acknowledged that a school or college who have recently been inspected will suffer a dip in results. I am worried about the pass rate, I am worried about the coursework moderation (which is playfully inconsistent from year to year despite us following identical working practices), I am worried about my retention rate because of the students who figured out that we couldn't actually stop them from absenting themselves from exam... I am pretty sure I am more worried than most of my students.

Anyway, here are a couple of pre-emptive A-level headlines. Pick one.

"As A-level results reach a record level of passes, there are calls for change as standards of assessment continue to be eroded."

"As A-levels results dip for the first time in 5 years, there are calls for change as the quality of teaching in schools and colleges comes under fire."

There is a phenomenon in the sociology of scientific knowledge known as 'The Experimenter's Regress'. This is the inability to agree on a test to decide on the truth or otherwise of a controversial hypothesis, as any two competing scientists can argue that the other has a flawed experiment.

Prof A 'Look at my whizzy wave detector, it proves the existence of whizzy waves'.
Prof B 'No, your machine is faulty. My machine shows there are no such things as whizzy waves.'
Prof A 'Ha ha, Prof B, it is your machine that is faulty, not mine!'
Repeat ad infinitum.

Sometimes it seems that the whole of education is in danger of spiraling into itself in the same way. When more students pass, we say that we have taught them better, but our critics say that obviously standards have dropped. When less students pass, our critics say that we have not taught them well, but we could equally say that standards have risen. The problem is that even in these enlightened times of measuring absolutely everything we possibly can, we have no consensus about how we measure either pupils' achievement or institutions' performance. The figures thus become pseudo-scientific garnishes to endlessly cyclical and cynical arguments.

The final word, however, must go to the defense of our students. Yes, there are dozens of them who are over-dependent, lazy, or manipulative. However, I think it's true to say that in my institution at least, the majority of young men and women who get large numbers of high grades have worked very hard indeed and deserve a sense of pride and security in their qualification. And the same is true of many of the students who will emerge with a clutch of C and D grades and take up places at universities with long names.

Pupil put-downs you wish you'd thought of...

2006-06-20T19:01:00.000+01:00

# 287 [for students sending text messages under their desks] ' There only two things you could be doing with your hand under that desk and neither of them are appropriate for my lesson'

Death by PowerPoint

2006-06-20T00:03:00.000+01:00

I have recently delivered 9 hours of in-house PowerPoint training. And it was very, very satisfying...

Since projectors arrived in classrooms, all teachers have been forced to consider whether to let PowerPoint into their lessons. And like some creature from an alien dimension, it can take over a lesson and convert everything it touches into bullet points. Some students now waft between lessons, watching endless identical presentations using that funky design template (you know, the one with the fireworks at the top. Yes, that one. The one that your boss used at her last INSET to tell you how we needed a five point action plan to implement the post-inspection strategy.)

PowerPoint is a poor master. My favourite PowerPoint bashing site is the Gettysburg PowerPoint Presentation; the beginning of Absolute PowerPoint is also very funny.

However, if you see PowerPoint as a tool for producing animated teaching aids, it is very, very powerful indeed. It was delightful watching teachers get excited about the possibility of making animated maps of the Berlin Airlift, interactive quizzes for MLD kids on life skills and flow charts that appeared one arrow at a time. Think of PowerPoint as a replacement for all those irritating drawings you always do year after year, the ones that you think are amusing and the students think are sad...

The offside rule

2006-06-15T19:54:00.000+01:00

OK, this is doing the rounds of my girlfriends' inboxes at the moment. And this is so obviously a girl's explanation of the offside rule, and it really helped me understand.

Explaining the offside rule to women
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
Always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

I've horrified you, haven't I...charmed by a faintly patronising whimsy involving shoes. Before you think I am a complete idiot, obviously I understand the offside rule! I'm not stupid, you know! It's very straightforward. Read it! None of the words are difficult!

However, the bit I don't understand is why it's there. What's the point? I don't understand the offside rule; I've never played football and only been to four matches in my life, I can't see why you need a complex rule to allow and disallow goals in what is, up to that point, a brilliantly simple game. Therefore the whole business remains completely opaque to me. But whenever I ask a man to explain the offside rule, they always do the same thing... they grab the nearest collection of small objects and start to act out the positions of the players.

[In fact, listen to this week's 'Heresy' on BBC Radio 4 from about 13 minutes in ... my favourite quote 'I've tried for a long time to explain the offside rule to my wife ...now she thinks the offside rule is when a man puts a tomato sauce bottle between a salt and a pepper pot' ]

The point of all this is that what I need from an explanation is so different from what I get. This is a fascinating exercise in teaching and learning. An explanation given in terms of physical positions as opposed to one given in terms of purpose and meaning - due to differences in gender, in experiences, in motivation and so on.

Coursework - it's over at last

2006-05-16T19:01:00.000+01:00

The final OMR sheet is with the exams officer. It's really over.

It's been a completely awful year for coursework. The combined effect of The Visitors (like The Kindly Ones, best not name them) the date of Easter this year and a new specification meant that this year's coursework ordeal was extra, extra special. I know I should blog - either something witty, or something insightful about the inherent weaknesses of coursework, but actually I am too tired and angry with the students.

I was reading Blog Standard, and a comment posted which said 'A bitter teacher leads to bitter students' and I was really pulled up short. So much stress, anger, bitterness - it's not good. How can we keep our compassion intact when we are being used? How can we remember how hard it is for some of our students to even make it to college at all... when so many well-looked after and well-resourced students seem determined to abuse us as if we were resources to be spent not people with whom they have a relationship?

Answers on a postcard please.

A new blog of note!

2006-05-15T19:12:00.000+01:00

I've found a new blog via the TES. Mr Ken's Blog Standard is absolutely brilliant. As a sample, see his Manifesto #1.

I warmly commend him to my 5 readers.

Welcome, Alan Johnson!

2006-05-07T13:53:00.000+01:00

Such was the reshuffle kerfuffle over Charles Clarke and John Prescott, I only realised this morning that we have yet another Secretary of State for Education and Skills. Welcome. Did you know, Alan, that a young person in the current Year 13 (or upper sixth) has had no less than eight Secretary of States looking after his or her education since they started school?

Anyway, according to your website, Alan, you went to Sloane Grammar School in Chelsea, and according to the New Statesman you left school with no O-levels. According to the amazing TheyWorkForYou.com website, you are 'very strongly for' top-up fees, the Iraq war and 'quite strongly for' equal gay rights.

Also, interestingly, you have used a three-word alliterative phrase (e.g. "she sells seashells") 356 times in debates — 31st out of 645 MPs.

From my perspective right now, these are the issues that I think you need to be thinking about as you arrange your mascots on your desk and work out where the coffee machine is:

1) The future of league tables.
League tables are the most corrosive force in UK education today, and they effectively corrupt all attempts at positive change in the curriculum by making any institution's top priority the manipulation and maintenance of one or two, highly deceptive, statistics.

2) The future of assessment.
SATs reducing little children's lives to misery. GCSE and A-level coursework producing a generation of young people who don't believe in deadlines. Endless resits. All driven by the aforementioned league tables so that any poor result is perceived as a problem for the teacher to solve, rather than a reflection back to the student of their efforts and abilities.

3) Bringing back bog standard comprehensive education.
Trust Schools and Academies; Specialist Schools; Technology, Language and Sports Colleges; Arts Marks. Do families really want all this 'choice' and specialism? Or do they want good local schools offering an all-round education so that their children can find out in good time what they are best at and what they enjoy, whilst also experiencing a balanced exposure to the skills and knowledge they need to live in the world today?

4) Sharing the blame around a bit.
When a child fails to flourish, it's not all down to his or her teachers. Parents, the media, local government, and tellingly the child him or herself are all partly responsible. How do we get everyone to step up to the mark and accept their share of the responsibility for the successes and failures of young people today?

5) Wake up and smell the plumbing.
We got rid of metalwork, woodwork and domestic science. We introduced vocational education which revolved around acres of coursework which was mostly copied and pasted off the Internet. We got rid of all our polytechnics and turned them into universities with long names. And now we have a chronic shortage of plumbers, electricians, builders, silversmiths and other craftspeople. Not to mention no new industry. Can someone please do some joined up thinking here?

Finally, Alan, please don't do what David Blunkett did. I can actually remember the joy I felt in 1997 when your party won the election. And I read with delight the letter that David Blunkett sent to every school to say how keen he was to work with us and to thank us for our hard work as teachers. But he never said that to the press. All we ever heard from him in public was criticism and the perpetuation of the idea that bad teachers are responsible for all that is wrong with the world. If you are our friend, please make sure you don't turn your back on us in the playground.

How to teach a perfect sample lesson

2006-05-06T19:30:00.000+01:00

As interview season comes round again, I was thinking about how many 'sample lessons' I have seen over the last few years in my capacity as a middle-manager. And how many perfectly decent applicants have shipwrecked themselves in 20 short minutes by completely missing the mark in this brutal but necessary ordeal.

These sample lessons are a relatively recent phenomenom in teaching recruitment (I went looking for my first job in the early 90's and was never once asked to do one.) However, I can't believe how ill-equipped most newly qualified teachers are to deliver them. True, I have seen some very good examples and am in fact working with brilliant colleagues who taught those very lessons. But surely a half-decent teacher training institution should cover this?

As I have now been blogging for over four months, I have delusions of significance... so here is my handy guide to preparing a sample lesson, especially for all you newbies out there going through the interview mill for the first time.

As recruiting teachers, we sometimes feel a wave of whinging and wimpering coming off a candidate at the whole prospect of the lesson... 'But I don't know the students... [yes, we know that] and I don't know their prior learning [yep, we know that too]... and I only have 20 minutes' [uh, we know that too, we made this up after all] We know that what you are doing is highly unrealistic. We are not looking for a text-book OFTSED lesson plan with all the boxes ticked. Don't treat it as such. Want to know how to ace a sample lesson? Think about what we are looking for.

Broadly speaking, when I watch a sample lesson I am looking for the following things, in this order of priority:

1) Presence, charisma and empathy with the students. OK, you've never taught these kids in this room before, but you should look comfortable standing up and taking centre stage with a group of young people. You should be able to capture attention and keep it, and you should show warmth towards, and interest in the kids you're faced with.
(I don't actually need twenty minutes to see this - it's almost immediately recognisable.)

2) Planning. I expect you to have worked up a pretty impressive 20 minutes worth of stuff. I expect you to have good enough Internet skills to have tracked down the specification, past papers and so on. I expect you to have swotted up on what you're teaching. Come on, most interview panels will let you pick a topic or subject from a wide range of choices; if they haven't told you up front what exam board they use, get on the phone and ask. And then produce, at the very least, a good Powerpoint presention, handout/worksheet or activity. Ideally, all three. Make absolutely sure you have a good extension activity even if you are pretty sure you won't have time to use it.

Come on. It's not rocket science. This is a twenty minute, pull out all the stops, show-'em-what- you've-got opportunity. If you can't be bothered to make an effort for this, what does it say about your contribution to the life of the school/college?

3) Teaching craftsmanship. This is the tricky bit. You have a short amount of time to showcase your skills and also to model your priorities. For goodness sake, don't do the first 20 minutes of a 2 hour lesson. Or the first 20 minutes you would routinely do with any new class. Don't throw away time on your classroom 'rules' or an ice-breaker. [Ask for and use their names as you go along, or get them to write their names on pieces of card.] I would say, as a general rule, we are looking for some up-front teaching to prove you can be interesting, hold a class's attention and explain your subject. But also we need to see one or two good student activities to prove there's more to you than just chalk and talk. Activities also show us the quality of your interactions with students. (For goodness sakes go and talk to the students while they do the task you have set. Don't wander around tossing your chalk in the air and definitely don't go and chat with the observers!)
Also...
- state a clear aim at the beginning and recap/test understanding at the end
- make sure you interact with as many students as you can [if it's a small group, every single student]
- make sure you flag up at some point how the topic fits in with the specification or with other topics they might have studied or go on to study
- if it's a lesson for year 10 or above, a quick reference to an exam question or typical vocational assignment question never does any harm.

If that sounds like way too much to cope with in the time you have, you are probably being much too ambitious in the material you hope to cover. Do less better.

Finally 4) Content
We do notice if you don't know what your talking about - if you are unlucky enough to get given a lesson topic with no choice, for goodness sake mug up on it. And we do notice if you are pitching the lesson at the wrong age group. If you are a secondary trained teacher applying for an advanced level job, you are in a difficult position but it's not impossible to get it right. If you have time, grab an A-level text book or just spend an hour or so on some A-level revision sites.

One issue that can floor candidates - and it really shouldn't - is finding out that the group have already studied the topic, or (even worse) just taken part in another sample lesson on the same subject! Prepare a lesson which will serve either as a revision of a familiar topic or as an introduction for the first time. It's not hard. Make sure that any questions you are planning to ask have follow on questions that probe more deeply if the students can glibly rattle off the answers. Make sure all your activities are that little bit special, so that even if they have bashed through the subject before, you are giving them an interesting new take on the topic. A case study instead of a simple discussion. A matching exercise with challenging distractors instead of a simple fill-in-the-blanks.

Five worst sins I've seen in sample lessons:

Me 'Can you talk me through this handout, because I don't see how it fits in with what you taught?'
Applicant 'Oh, that's just something I found in the Internet last night.'

Applicant 'Please write your names on the cards and put them in front of you.'
After spending 3 minutes doing this, he taught for 20 minutes and never once referred to any of the students by name.

One applicant took up half her allotted time going through her 'classroom rules.' These included 'don't surf the Internet when you should be working'. The lesson was in a classroom without computers.

Another applicant had an error in the maths on her handout which had to be pointed out to her by one of the students.

And finally, the most astounding sample lesson I have ever seen went like this.

'My lesson today is on alpha testing and beta testing.'
'Does anyone know what alpha testing is?'
They did; they told him.
He wrote it on the board
'Does anyone know what beta testing is?'
They did; they told him
He wrote it on the board

That was the end of the lesson.
He did not get the job.

Sweet sanity from the midst of the coursework mosh pit

2006-05-03T20:18:00.000+01:00

I haven't posted much lately - though I have a few drafts lurking. It's coursework hand-in time, that terrible season of teacher exhaustion and prostitution as we chase them round and ring them at home at the weekend in a desperate attempt to drag the work out of them. If you want to see the corrosive effect of league tables on modern education, just visit a teacher over the May Day weekend.

I will post more on this topic. But for now...

...last night I saw the last ten minutes of 'That'll teach 'em' - a series I avoided like the plague. (Obviously I am completely qualified to judge the entire series on this basis.) But the last ten minutes seemed to be all you needed to see: a bunch of 16-year old kids who had, apparantly, failed O-levels after 30 days of 'old-fashioned' teaching. Then they received their genuine GCSE results and - all had A's, B's and C's.!

I am too tired to rant about this so fill in the rest around these key words and phrases (A cloze blog, if you will...)

-------------------- different syllabus------------different subjects----------content------------one month-----------------editors-------------manipulation---------naturally --------------proves bugger all-------------re-inforce prejudice

Anyway, I went to the web site and found a rather nice piece in defence of modern schools by Joan Clancy. It raises some excellent and refreshingly different points and at no time whinges. She's my new mate.

Back to coursework.

PS The teacher wot I live with has made me a poster for my office which says this:

"You come to me all teary eyed and say 'why, oh why miss did I only get a grade E for this work' and I say 'You should have
RTFHO"

Apparantly I was talking in my feverish sleep...

Honours for cash for schools - and the '£2 million test'

2006-04-13T17:51:00.000+01:00

Warning, long entry written in wroth!

OK, take a look at this news story: a Head from Barking who serves on the 'Specialist Schools and Academies Trust' which 'helps the government recruit education sponsors' told a journalist that if you donated money "the prime minister's office would recommend someone like [the donor] for an OBE, a CBE or a knighthood". And ... Downing Street said at the time it was "nonsense to suggest that honours are awarded for giving money to an academy". (And the Guardian have it here)

Whoa. Now for a short test, boys and girls. What is the real news story here?

1) That knighthoods can be bought be large donations of money, making a mockery of a system designed to recognise merit
2) That Downing Street can swat away the on-the-record comment of a respected person by labelling it nonsense, and presumably insist he resigns to try and neutralise the effect immediately
or
3) That we live in a society where a majority influence on the governing body of a state school can be bought for approximately £2 million by anyone who feels like it.

And the answers?
I don't know about you, but I think that it's point 3) that has always been, and continues to be, the real news story.

I am vaguely concerned about the whole cash for honours thing, as I would like to live in a meritocractic society, but hey, it's no biggie.
Yes, it does send a chill down my spine to be reminded of the blatant way that government can silence any critical comment by saying 'it is not so' and demanding resignations and public apologies as scalps.
But the really, really important thing is this: inner city schools are being sold to anyone with any agenda at all. For the sum of only 8% of total start-up costs!

For this bargain price you get...
- influence in the name, ethos and style of the institution
- controlling interest on the governing body (yes, I said that before but it bears repetition)
- And once you have this influence with the governors, you can use it employ anyone you want because you are exempt from the requirement to only employ teachers registered with the GTC!
- And then you can pay them anything you want because you can opt out of the national pay structure!

(Aside - I wrote a sci-fi short story about ten years ago set in a dystopian future school; I was rooting around for a brand name to give the school, such as the 'Ronald McDonald High School' or the 'Microsoft School'. So I honestly thought it was fiction when I first heard about the Dixons Academy - but it's not. It's a state school sponsored by a chain of electrical stores.)

What does the government really think it's doing?

If there was a huge amount of money going into these schools, say £20 million, and if the major obstacle in the way of improving inner city education was simply cash, and if the government had a serious shortfall, I could be persuaded that huge injections from philathropists or businesses was justifiable. And if in return the donor got their name above the door or the right to serve on the governors as a sort of sinecure or even a knighthood, well, hey, I can live with that. But does getting 8-10% of the cost paid really help that much? Surely you could just build one less academy instead.

You see, I don't think the Academy program is primarily about fund-raising. The government don't actually believe that money is all we need to solve the problem of inner city schooling. Tony B wants to demolish old schools and build new ones but with a new ethos. And here's where it goes bad for me - he believes the only way to get ethics, values, vision and character for his academies is to buy it.

£2 million does not represent a shortfall that needs to be filled, £2 million is a test, set to see how strong someone's (or some organisation's) commitment to leading a school is. So the logic must be - to have something serious to offer inner city education, you must a) be interested and b) pass the £2 million test to see if you are committed or just pissing around, writing blogs and generally just talking it up.

I don't like it one little bit (which doesn't mean that all academies are terrible institutions per se, not even the Dixon's Academy which I've never visited; please don't think I am getting at you or your leadership if you are toiling in an Academy, doing your best for inner city students and making a difference.) I don't like it because the underlying idea is that the problem of inner city education can be solved by finding people and groups of people who pass the £2 million test. Wheras I think that the best people to solve the problem of an inner city school are a group of committed teachers, well-led by an inspirational and pragmatic leadership team (and a body of parents who will work to support the school.) And hey, they don't usually have time to accumulate £2 million between them because they are too busy.

To conclude at last: the major obstacle in the way of improving inner city education is not simply cash; we need strong schools with teachers and leaders who share a profound, robust vision for education and who can create a new optimism, value-structure and vision in the place of what was previously perceived as a 'failing' school. Knocking down the old buildings and replacing them is one way of kick-starting this change, so in that respect the government is maybe doing a good thing by flipping difficult schools out of the rut they are in. However, into that shiny new building you need to put the best, the most energetic, the most gifted, the most committed teachers you can find. And then you need to put an experienced Head and school management team in there and let them get on with it. They will be able to create a new ethos without any need for a friendly electrical retailer on the board of governors to advise.

Thankyou.

PS I've never taught in an Academy. If any of my readers have, I sincerely invite you to rubbish all of the above.

Why boys don't read and girls don't take things apart

2006-04-12T12:17:00.000+01:00

'In the beginning, boys don't do well at school because their verbal abilities are inferior to those of girls. As a result, they perform poorly in languages, English and the arts...In later years, girls fall behine in physics and sciences where spatial ability is vital. But while remedial language classes are full of boys whose worried parents hope and pray that their sons will eventually be able to read, write and speak properly, no such caveat is put on girls to brush up on their spatial reasoning. They simply end up changing subjects.'

Allan and Barbara Pease, 'Why men don't listen and women can't read maps'

Was reading this book again and came across the above quote, very striking in relation to yesterday's Purves ponderings. I always said that the most important thing you need to take away from your education is the ability to read so would have previously supported this verbal bias in education unthinkingly. I am a 'typical' woman - I can't parallel park, navigate judge spaces - but significantly, I wanted to be an engineer at various times in my childhood (well, a coal miner actually, but what I was expressing was a yearning fascination with heavy machinery, not a desire to be underground.) I did go on to do science A-levels but did not end up in physics or engineering. One reason was that expressed by my Mum as 'You can't be an engineer, people who end up as engineers take things apart and you don't do that'. Well, I did try and make up for this in later years but lacked the instinct and the chutzpah shown by (usually) men when they take your bike/computer apart with the blithe conviction that they will be able to put it together again. I always thought that my Mum was right and I would have been a rubbish engineer anyway.

But let's turn it around. Little boy wants to be a historian because of a fascination with the olden days. Would a parent say 'You can't be a historian, people who end up as historians read a lot and you don't do that'... Hum, maybe, maybe not. But as the Peases point out, there is a huge public concern about the fact that boys don't read enough... and when was the last time you read a newspaper story about how appalling it is that girls don't play with construction toys enough?

Forced to agree with Libby Purves

2006-04-11T19:39:00.000+01:00

Less than 48 hours after her first mention on my blog, Ms Purves makes a re-appearance. This article in ATL report is all about the lack of practical content to the modern curriculum. I think she's on to something.

(I had a ruthlessly hands-off education at a girl's school where we didn't even do domestic science because the indomitable head had decreed that 'Any idiot can read a cook book'. Science did include practicals but there again we only did two sciences a term (chemistry and physics, then chemistry and biology, then biology and physics) to make way for the four - four - languages I was studying by the age of 14. I certainly never studied woodwork or metalwork, and my one attempt at pottery was a complete disaster, shattering in the kiln and leaving me with a long-standing animosity towards my art teacher. So I never had a chance to improve my lack of co-ordination through experimenting with my hands, which is certainly a shame.)

Scientific illiteracy (via other blogs of note)

2006-04-08T17:44:00.000+01:00

As it's now the Easter holidays I have time to mess around with my Blog template. Be not alarmed if it changes over the next few days.

It's also time to catch up with posts on my other favourite blogs, which in no particular order include

'The Teacher' for wit and misery from the chalkface

'Cornescast' for M's rants (which increasingly rival those of the rant-master himself, Dr Mark Kermode)- Cornes's tend to start out as hardcore computing and end up as tirades against life itself.

'The Dormitory Boys' because nothing sums up the banality and brilliance of the WWW like web cam footage of teenaged Chinese boys lipsynching while their dormitory mates get on with life in the background. (I pretend I'm trying to get inside the minds of my students but really... just watch 'Bu de bu ai')

Anyway, Mr Cornes has a very interesting entry about scientific illiteracy. I think the solution to the problem is teaching school kids the philosophy and sociology of science at school, along with how to deconstruct TV documentaries.

And the solution to getting more and better maths teachers is the same as the solution to many educational problems - make teaching a more enjoyable job by reducing beaurocracy, improving respect and sharing some of the blame for low standards around - it's not always our fault, it's also the fault of government, the media, parents and students themselves; so please step up and take some responsibility...

My 2001 threshold application

2006-04-08T13:57:00.000+01:00

It's the Easter Holidays, so for two blissful weeks I only need to go in to school to run catch-up sessions for those who did not complete their coursework (see last post) and can spend much of my time relaxing (in between proof-reading the typing in my students' late coursework submissions, putting the sheets into the right order and then, finally, marking them)

As a result of this free time, I have been tidying up my computer hard disc and came across this - my first ever threshold application from 2001. I thought you (my five readers) might enjoy it.

1 Knowledge and understanding

Please summarise evidence that you have a thorough and up-to-date knowledge of the teaching of your subject(s), and take account of wider curriculum developments, which are relevant to your work.

- I regularly listen to Radio 4, and take on board all specious and patronising comments targetted at me by Libby Purves, John Simpson etc
- I regularly note the arrival of government directives, packages and initiatives. Sometimes I even flick through them before putting them in a very dark filing cabinet
- I watch Channel 4 documentaries and frequently incorporate the insights gained into my teaching, especially in that last half-hour before the bell goes
- I do aikido evening classes and have signed up for something at the local City Learning Centre, I think it has to do with CD-ROMs or maybe it was ICBMs?

2.1 Teaching and assessment - Planning lessons

Please summarise evidence that you consistently and effectively plan lessons and sequences of lessons, to meet pupils' individual learning needs.

- I consistently plan lessons and then adapt them in an ongoing and dynamic way, incorporating insights gained on the hoof as the class arrive fifteen minutes late and high as kites
- I have written several schemes of work incorporating the next big thing, and successfully disguised the fact that they were simply recycled from the last big thing. These schemes of work are regularly ignored by other members of my department
- I regularly adapt my lessons to meet the individual learning needs of the gifted and talented, by letting them go on the internet when they finish early
- I complete ILP's for all students when I am told to. I always apologise to students with SLDD who's speling I have acidentaly criticised

2.2 Teaching and assessment - Classroom management

Please summarise evidence that you consistently and effectively use a range of appropriate strategies for teaching and classroom management.

- I use a variety of different approaches to classroom management, including shouting, pleading, sarcasm and running out in tears
- I nick every good idea, worksheet and anecdote produced by my PGCE students
- I know a couple of very good jokes about Mancunians in a filing cabinet
- To take account of those who learn best in a self-directed, text based, non-interactive way, I regularly tell students to be quiet and copy out of the book for half an hour
- I have the following technology in my room but never use it because it is broken: electronic whiteboard, OHP, networked computer, blackboard
- I do funny voices and pretend that I am using drama across the curriculum

2.3 Teaching and assessment - Monitoring progress

Please summarise evidence that you consistently and effectively use information about prior attainment to set well-grounded expectations for pupils, and monitor progress to give clear and constructive feedback.

- At the beginning of every year, I analyse all my groups according to the 'method du jour'. I faithfully copy this into my planner and look at it occasionally
- I encourage all my students to maintain appropriate career fanatasies
- I mark regulary, accurately and in depth, giving postive feedback and pointers for improvement. Thanks sir, my pupils say, reading the notes I have written, and using it constructively to improve their next piece of homework, while being careful to avoid the detritus from the airborne swine who congregate in my classroom

3 Pupil progress

Please summarise evidence that, as a result of your teaching, your pupils achieve well in relation to their prior attainment, making progress as good or better than similar pupils nationally. This should be shown in marks or grades in any relevant national tests or examinations, or school based assessment for pupils where national tests and examinations are not taken.

- Using the the 2000 Autumn package, crossed referenced with Yellis, averaging downward to take into account small group size, all my students in Year 11 achieved above the lower quartile range relative to their IQ and ability, except for the one who truanted, the one who went on holiday the week we started that piece of coursework, and the three who used to sit at the back and smoke dope. And that girl with the nosestud but she was a Whole School Problem.

4.1 Wider professional effectiveness - Personal development

Please summarise evidence that you take responsibility for your professional development and use the outcomes to improve your teaching and pupils' learning.

- I have learned the meaning of the following terms and sometimes use them: computer-aided learning, benchmark, learning style, prior attainment data. I almost never call a specification a syllabus
- I have successfully learned how to use each successive new photocopier
- I downloaded this document from the DFES web site
- I have attended all INSETs laid on for me by my school, and do not always sit at the back. I have willingly filled in personality tests, brainstormed, made posters, fed back onto flip charts, learned to juggle and revised my schemes of work, all without complaining

4.2 Wider professional effectiveness - School development

Please summarise evidence that you make an active contribution to the policies and aspirations of your school.

- I aspire to a high status job which earns me big bucks for not doing much work and allows me to blame others for my inadequacies, in common with my Year 11 group
- I support all the rules and policies of the school, I have never blagged chewing gum off a kid, lost confiscated jewellry or feigned deafness when a large Year 11 was listening to a walkman
- I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of a delegation, whinging consortium, rumour mill or Union. I never make cynical remarks in INSETs or staff meetings
- I keep my contributions to morning briefing short and to the point

5 Professional characteristics

Much of what you have said earlier in this form will give information about the professional characteristics you show in your teaching. Please give any further examples of how you are an effective professional who challenges and supports all pupils to do their best.

- I inspire trust by wearing the clothes expected of me by generations of teachers. I never buy a new suit unless it is absolutely necessary. I sleep under my desk from time to time
- I challenge all pupils, usually to guess what I am thinking
- I am a team player, giving my colleagues unrestricted access to my lesson plans, resources, pens, pencils, keys, coffee, cigarettes and bank account
- I submit myself to writing time-consuming forms whenever Estelle Morris offers me a decent salary in return for my soul

Deadlines

2006-04-06T22:02:00.000+01:00

Well, it's coursework deadline season. The deadline passes. Do they come and see you, clutching their cherished handful of sheets, hollow-eyed from staying up a little too late but glad it's over?

No.

Do they come in fear and trembling, begging for an extension and crying with relief when you offer an extra night?

No.

Do they come at all?

No.

You see them on the corridor and you say 'Coursework, Boris?' 'Oh, yes, I can let you have it next week.'

No apology, no embarrassment, no shame. No doubt in their minds that they will be able to hand it in right up to the night before the exam board deadline. (Or even after. And they know this deadline because they have read it on the exam board web site.) And no doubt in their minds that the worst we will do is shout at them a bit, which they will deal with using their best Cool Hand Luke impressions. They know that they are untouchable for the simple reason that we cannot afford to let them fail.

So you come home from a day of pre-emptive rants (If you haven't got your coursework tomorrow you will at the very least treat me like a human being and find me in the building and preface your excuse with an apology) to listen to attempts to sort out the problems with the Northern Ireland Assembly which seems to be about one missed deadline after another.

In fact, just look at the first ten hits on a Google search on 'deadline missed' . Maybe the kids are more in tune with the real world than we are.